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TV is getting boring. Who really cares about Ekkta KKappoorr and her shitshow? Reality TV is the new Soap Opera.

Here’s a list of shows that we would love to watch on our Idiotbox.

Return of the Desi

This show documents the returning to India of a Wall street couple fresh from a layoff. Their innumerable sacrifices are the selling point of the show. Their coming to terms with the poverty, the various stenches, lack of power, abundance of crime, lack of water, lack of manners, and the all-encompassing corruption would bring tears of introspective joy to every self respecting Indian’s eyes.

Eventually they would give up the fake pretenses, bribe their neighborhood district magistrate and open up a successful call center business.

Chal Meri Gaadi

This show goes inside the lives of four blue line drivers. We get to be part of their daily struggles on Delhi roads (daily on Delhi, see what i did there!?) dealing with unruly passengers, cops always asking for more, lazy helpers, and more importantly, people not getting out of the way quickly enough.

Chal Meri Gaadi would be one fabulous chance for redemption for Blue line drivers. Needless to add, the TRPs will be sky high.

Maya’s Chhaya

Fifteen of the toughest ladies in Lucknow compete to be Behenji’s right hand (wo)man. Sub contests include a gaali-galoch (essential skill for the job) round which will not be shown on TV because it would not get past the censor board. Clips will be available on Youtube though.

Observant viewers might notice a contestant go missing after a particularly heated episode. Be sure not to mention that to anyone.

The winner will get a crore, an I.P.S. personal assistant, a place on the U.P. cabinet, and very importantly, Ms Mayawati’s affections.

Bambai Se Aaya Mera Dost

In this show, we will witness the transition of five Mumbai youth setting up their small businesses in Bihar. We watch as they put their blood and sweat into establishing successful ventures.

As the series progress our boys come into contact with the local society. They learn all about Bihar’s culture, and we watch as they adapt to their new surroundings, and overcome their initial doubts about the region.
Down the line they learn the important life lesson that the intelligence of the people does not directly relate to a state’s progress. And vice versa.

Some will be successful and be embraced by the local community; some will not do so well.

We will be there tracking their progress.

Not So Soft-We-Are

A team of ten brilliant but disconnected software engineers band together to deliver a $1mn 3 month long project. They cannot stand each other, but must deliver the project on time, or be prepared to pay penalties.

Occasional fist fights, panic attacks, sabotaged hard drives, and kiss-and-make-up sessions will set the TV ablaze.

Divided We Fall

This will be a contest requiring diverse personalities from different regions of India to work with each other towards common tasks. Each week the contestants will be required to solve assigned problems. This will be a test of team work, and the will to put aside personal/ideological differences.

This show will be Survivor on STeroIDs.

And a strong message of national unity. Except for the episode where the Tamil politicians bash up the Delhi author over language issues. (And some others, but that’s beside the point)

The contestants of this show will be renowned faces from the world of media, sports, politics, business, and literature. Names to be announced soon.

What would your ideal reality show be? Use the comment space…

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