Smile. You’re Indian

December 10, 2008
By

Are you an Indian? If yes, take a minute and cheer for yourself. You may not realize it, but Life is pretty G.O.O.D. India is blossoming. Indian industry is growing. India is prospering. As they liked saying, India is Shining.

Need more reasons? Here, you cynical Indian, are some reasons to be proud of your country. Cheer up now. Yes, you too.

Democracy

India is the world’s largest democracy, and loves it. Even though we are supposed to have elections every few years, we try our best to make that happen more often. So much so, that we even had them twice over the course of a few months, just a few years back. We love our democracy. It keeps the blood running through our body.

Ekktaa KKappurr

Yes, the same Ekta Kapoor who gave us the blood curdlers such as Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, and Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. You see, it was her clever little plan to unite the people by giving them something common to hate. Give her a hand guys; She took one for the team.

Politicians

We love our democracy, but it is our politicians that make our lives worth living. Every time they open their mouths, it is as if a fountain of knowledge has been bestowed upon us. Oh, we love our politicians. They are just awesome.

Barkha Datt

The Columbia educated managing editor of NDTV is a sparkler. She bravely went to Kargil, and even though her detailed news coverage led to some lives getting lost, she told us the real story of the war. There’s  a national hero right there. Her reporting over the years has inspired much praise, and admiration. Some people might call her opinions biased, sometimes plain stupid, but screw them. Keep it going, Barkha.

Mobile Phones

Need we even say anything? We Indians may not have food to eat, but we all have mobile phones. The plumber who came to fix our bathroom came after we called him up on, guess what, his mobile. The maid who used to cook for us used to coordinate the menu on…you get the idea.

Electricity

The great thing about power cuts in India is that they make sure that we don’t lose touch with our great culture. Every summer we bring out our little portable fans and think of our ancestors who did not have access to the fruits of modern industry. We know our roots. We remain humble, and down to earth.

Makes us shudder to even think of what might happen if, god forbid, we started getting continuous power supply in our homes.

Information Technology

We are the world’s IT coolies, and proud of it.

Each and every American major has setup offices in India, and now our brightest minds are busy working around the clock helping the great minds in america make even more money. We have arrived on the world stage. An Andrew Symonds may call India a third world country. What does he know? We are world class, baby. First World. Fast World.

Inflation

We are getting expensive. We are getting chic. Move aside world, we have arrived. We drive the same Corollas that Americans drive, for double the cost. We don’t even blink while buying a Rs 100 coffee. We have money, and are not afraid to spend it. Never mind our parents who took so much pains saving away their pennies towards a safe future. This is the age of the consumer.

Terrorism

Those wily scumbags bring out the best in us. We may keep fighting for petty issues, but we will not take terrorism sitting down. Never mind if it takes pictures of a few dozen people lying dead, killed in cold blood by petty maniacs, to stir our souls. Like Ektaa Kapurr, Terrorism unites India. We are not trying to equate the two though!

America

We love America.

America is the reason we exist. America is what we aspire to be. We want to do the same things they do. We do what their leaders tell us to do. We eat what they eat. We copy their movies. We work for their companies, even if we live in India. After all, what was that silly Columbus looking for when he reached America.? Us. It’s time we corrected that mistake.

There. You get the drift. Now that we have you thinking on these lines, go ahead and list down your reasons in the comments section. Go on.

Tags: , , , , , , , , ,

27 Responses to “ Smile. You’re Indian ”

  1. amlistening on December 10, 2008 at 10:34 pm

    I like the sarcasm hidden in each one. Here are a few more:

    Indian Food
    World loves it! and ofcourse we Indians find it whereever we are. Indian spices, no wonder, are what Columbus was looking for. But I wish chefs(outside India) maintained the reciepies and Americans ate it the way we do. They eat Naan first like bread and rest later!

    Indian Clothes
    I find it in stores in US…I find people appreciating it on streets all over the world. They are very expensive here though.

    Am still thinking….

    • IRCTC Train Timings on March 3, 2011 at 7:09 pm

      lol it’s funny. But India is not just a country but a tale, an epic!

  2. The Quirky Indian on December 11, 2008 at 1:01 am

    Very funny…….good one. I think you’ve pretty much covered everything!

    Cheers,

    Quirky Indian
    http://quirkyindian.wordpress.com

  3. Kiran on December 11, 2008 at 2:28 am

    Good cynical observations. Now more than ever, the Indians around the globe are making efforts in forcing the govt to listen by making serious mends and changes. I hope things would be better soon.

  4. Trailblazer on December 11, 2008 at 6:03 am

    Very good sarcasm.

  5. Dinesh on December 11, 2008 at 10:55 am

    he he … Nice sarcastic humour. What can I say, It happens only in India. Like amlistening said you can also add Indian food and Indian Clothes. I would add Indian Music too. I mean sure a lot of them are copied (even that of ARRs) but a lot of classical musicians and film musicians are very good and unique. You can also add Indian Sports, how we love cricket and how no one knows about Hockey and how we go jumping around merrily after winning one gold medal.

  6. Philp on December 12, 2008 at 4:03 am

    am still wondering if i should be proud or ashamed of some of the points you mentioned ;) We do have great institutions, pity they are all corrupt. So, on one hand we are proud of what we have but we should be ashamed of what me made them actually.

  7. amreekandesi on December 13, 2008 at 1:25 am

    @amlistening, @QI, @Kiran, @Trailblazer, @Dinesh, @Philip: Thanks for the comments and the additions. All is not bad though. India is a great nation, and i am proud to be an Indian.

  8. amit on December 13, 2008 at 3:55 am

    God from the skies :
    Poor Earthlings! Trying to be proud for their pieces of lands! :P

  9. India…From the eyes of a Non Resident Insider on December 13, 2008 at 9:15 pm

    […] Continue reading this post on amreekandesi.com […]

  10. Perx on December 14, 2008 at 1:38 am

    I second Amit…

  11. Shefaly on December 14, 2008 at 2:47 am

    All the others are funny but you are missing the point about mobiles. The poor understand the power of leverage of mobile phones. If these two did not have mobiles, you could not reach them and a possibility for income would be lost. I would bet these worker bees do not waste time (they probably have little idle time anyway) chattering on their mobiles but as work tools, they have got it down pat.

    The rest is funny but alas, got to disagree with you on the mobile thing (It helps occasionally to speak with ‘servants’ to get their point of view – you can’t do this with your own staff so I use every India trip to talk with my friends’ and family’s drivers and cooks and maids etc to understand how the bottom of the pyramid sees all this progress).

    • amreekandesi on December 14, 2008 at 12:46 pm

      Shefaly: You missed my point about mobile phones. Your comment actually brings out the irony that i was referring to.
      Till some time back, getting a phone was a big deal. Then came along mobile phones, and we saw a virtual revolution. The point is the lopsided development of infrastructure. On the one hand is the example of mobiles which are omnipresent, but we havent seen a similar level of growth in other infrastructural areas.

      Many would consider mobile phones to be a luxury as compared to other basic needs. Given this, it is ironical that a poor country such as India has such phenomenal penetration. Not that it is a bad thing as such, but this sort of growth is needed elsewhere as well.

    • Shefaly on December 15, 2008 at 1:47 am

      Getting landlines/ fixed lines is still a big deal in India. It is not about lopsided development; it is about the relative costs of infrastructure required for the provisioning of fixed versus mobile telephony services, and the deregulation of the telecoms market which kick-started the mobile market but only got around to energising the fixed line market much later.

      Mobiles grew because of these two structural factors, lack of competition from fixed line telephony, the availability of flexible consumer packaging of the services (e.g. pay as you go which is the preferred consumer option) and obvious advantages over fixed lines.

      If you think of the growth as an exception – or ironic – in India, consider the African continent where the experience also is growth of mobiles being greater than fixed line telephony. Several countries altogether skipped the fixed line telephony thing. One could argue so many of them have nothing to eat so why bother with mobiles? No?

      The ‘many’ referred to in ‘Many would consider mobile phones to be a luxury’ are probably those people who judge others’ life circumstances :-) Mobile phones provide leverage and a chance to the poor, hard working person to earn more and improve his life. In such a case, it is not luxury but an essential.

      The irony only arises because of your assumptions about development, my friend. There is no single model for development; nor is the either-or model (e.g. as people often like to say why space programme when we have no food) applicable. Such is life. :-/

      As I said, the knowledge asymmetries that drive all other things are clear, but in mobiles the assumption of the knowledge asymmetry is the joke upon us, the armchair analysts. We are the irony in the mobile phenomenon :-)

  12. dinu on December 14, 2008 at 5:30 am

    brilliant!!! :)
    I loved the last one, America :)
    and yea, I too believe that, Burkha is stupid at times… ;)

    • amreekandesi on December 14, 2008 at 12:46 pm

      Thanks Dinu!

  13. prerna on December 15, 2008 at 11:12 am

    Shefaly, getting landlines is not a big deal in India anymore. You get the connection activated on the same day.

    I don’t necessarily agree with all that you have said, nevertheless, it was an interesting read.
    :)

  14. Mysoul on December 19, 2008 at 4:23 pm

    Came in via Nova’s blogroll.. Enjoyed the sarcasm/cynicism.. What is that they say about the Blind leading the Blind? thats what I see happening.

    Yep, we love America, so much, that we want to become Them, doesnt matter if we pick up the things that actually dont fit our lifestyle or attitude/thinking modes, but we have to become like THEM, by hook or crook. Soon we will have English(american english) as our National Language(notice the way the Hindi is on the news channel, its mostly Hinglish). Our languages are so difficult to learn, why bother learning it, we can just do away with it and stop teaching it in schools. Our clothes are a pain to wear, our foods- a looong process to prepare, its better to shift to cereal, canned foods and packaged foods, after all we do have the money, so if we fall ill from not taking care of things that matter, we can afford a good hospital too. But we should fall in with the Times and Follow America/Western world. (Waiting for the credit card/mortgage fiascos to happen in India)

    Sure, we dont take terrorism sitting down, we just take it silently in shavaasan, all is Peace right?

    Mobile phones, oh Yes, I love this accessibility to this invention. It brings more than two people so close to bond – the two meet for a date/luncheon and each sit opposite each other at the restaurant enjoying a conversation with someone else over the mobile.. Ooooh just love the etiquette.

    Water supply- we found a new way of conservation- supply water only once in three days. Yet say that India is SHINING(probably with all the NOT bathing that happens when water is in short supply). Same with Electricity.

    Now, in cities like Bangalore, they have found a new way to Let the People live in Peace, check this news item…new ways to harass people with bribes? or Really concerned with security?
    http://www.deccanherald.com/Content/Dec172008/scroll20081217107154.asp?section=frontpagenews

    Yet, I still Love this country…*sigh* guess love is Blind, Deaf and Dumb too.

  15. amreekandesi on December 19, 2008 at 4:44 pm

    @Mysoul: Welcome to Amreekandesi.

    Great additions to the post there in your comment! Thanks.

    And i agree, despite all these little things, i cant stop loving my country. Reminds me of that song from Phir Bhi Dil Hai Hindustani

  16. R.D.B. on May 15, 2009 at 7:26 am

    hmmm… black humour or satire.. dunno whatz it but
    yeah cogent..it is.

    well one obvious and annoying one is that we say we r proud 2 be an indian but nvr cease to ignore fellow indians out side india so smile….:) we smile at all others…..

  17. amreekandesi on May 16, 2009 at 12:50 am

    @RDB – Yes i think we Indians are a strange breed…some people say that Indians are the most racist people, and i don’t necessarily disagree. You may want to read my other post where i talked about this phenomenon.

  18. Vishal on June 9, 2009 at 1:03 am

    I think you have a great sense of humor and would love to have your blogs linked to our blogs as well. Any idea how we can do this.

    Thanks

    Vishal

  19. Neena on November 7, 2009 at 5:02 am

    Just a word about Barkha. My dad was a Air force officer, and my brother is in the Army. When the Kargil war was on, my brother was in the field. Though he was not around her. But my father watched Barkha and was ecstatic. he even taped the program and made me watch it when I visited India. According to everyone in the colony she was the FIRST person to create such a moving tribute to the forces, as civillians generally ignore the defence even when soldiers are dying. Kargil entered the consciousness because of her, according to many in the defence forces. Its only in the past year or so this campaign against Barkha started and many of us are at a loss to understand how and why and why now?

  20. Neena on November 7, 2009 at 5:04 am

    Ok I know why now – it was after the coverage of the Mumbai attack. But even then, all media channels obeyed orders. Otherwise their job is to cover the news, if one person doesn’t another will, in the absence of regulations. The army in Kargill were not fools to let some chick take over!

  21. Brayden Sanchez on July 23, 2010 at 9:39 am

    Indian Music is really cool and some of it are great dance music too.,*-

  22. John Ali on September 9, 2010 at 7:14 pm

    indian music is quite cool and a bit colorful, i like it”:-

  23. click here on September 28, 2011 at 4:58 am

    I really developed a secondary blog off my first one, but I now want my secondary blog to become my own or my main blog. So that as soon and I sign up the newer blog I made can be my default blog. If makes sense at all… Is there a way to try this?.

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog

Disclaimer

All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
%d bloggers like this: