Kumbh Mela – The Ultimate Cleanser

April 15, 2010
By

There’s a Kumbh Mela going on these days at Haridwar. For the ones that didn’t know, the Kumbh Mela is a one stop shop to wash away all your sins in the Ganga.

Apparently once upon a time a drop of amrit (the elixir of life) got spilt at four places Haridwar, Nasik, Ujjain, and Prayag, which tremendously increased the religious significance (and real estate prices, hopefully) of these towns. The Kumbh Melas have been held at these locations over the years.

In the modern age, man thinks that he can do anything and then go for a holy dip in the Ganga, pee in the river, and be absolved of all crimes he may have done against humanity. Yesterday (14th April), some 1.45 crore (14.5 mn) devotees dipped themselves in the river. That’s two Switzerlands in the Ganges river in a single day.

If you think in per capita terms, that single drop of amrit must not be much potent anymore, getting distributed over crores of people over hundreds (if not thousands) of years. If it made you invulnerable to death earlier, now it will probably only stop hairfall. Of a single strand of hair.

But looks like even that is enough motivation for our netas, most of them in various stages of baldness already.

The ongoing Haridwar Maha Kumbh Mela of 2010 will go down in history as the biggest spiritual jamboree for VIPs so far. If the Kumbh is meant to be the largest gathering of Hindus of all hues and shades, the common man and ordinary sadhus who have congregated here from the world over, go back feeling cheated. [link]

They all run to Haridwar, hoping for safety of that Swiss account. Another statue in a granite lined park. Another Tharoor scandal to embarrass the big all-slapping hand. Another big defence deal (read kickbacks). Another lifetime pass for the Duronto express. Another million followers for the baba. The list goes on. Materialistic fools!

Of course the all-too-naive aam aadmi becomes an impediment. They come from afar. Some travel barefoot all the way from their village to the holy city. Some do all they can to get their ageing parents to the mela. And they all block the damn way.

Imagine, you are traveling at 300 kmph in your Escalade, and are 4 kms from the ghat. Suddenly this large mass of humanity appears, blocking the way between you and the chance to writedown all crimes with no penalty. Wouldn’t you too try to run them down? What’s wrong if a Mahamandaleshwar tries to do the same?

According to varied accounts, a Tavera car belonging to a Mahamandaleshwar of the Juna Akhada forced its way on Birla Ghat bridge that was teeming with people at that time. At one spot, it hit a woman along with the infant, killing both on the spot. This led to a skirmish between people and sadhus and a stampede ensued. [link]

If anything the people who died in this stampede must have attained salvation. So much better than being runover by a blue line bus on a  crowded Delhi road.

At the same time, there’s some unusual people like Sonia Gandhi who decided to forego the trip to the mela so as to not inconvenience people. Such stupidness amazingness!

Anyway, with all these sins being washed away in the river, i wouldn’t want to live in the town downstream from Haridwar. That’s going to be one messed up place!

Of course someone in Haridwar must have prayed to god for an update on amreekandesi, because here we go today. Bhagwan ke ghar der hai, andher nahi hai, like they say! (God may take time to act, but he will always be fair. And no, i am not being racist.) There’s a very adorable reason for the erratic frequency of posts here. Coming up next.

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12 Responses to “ Kumbh Mela – The Ultimate Cleanser ”

  1. […] KUMBH MELA SPECIALS – IRCTC Online Passenger Reservation Information – 1 day ago Kumbh Mela – The Ultimate Cleanser | AmreekanDesi – AmreekanDesi – 17 minutes ago Searches related to kumbha […]

  2. mesingh on April 16, 2010 at 1:53 am

    Jai ho(!) for the amreekan desi :)

  3. dinu on April 16, 2010 at 3:55 pm

    no comments !! :D

    • IRCTC Train Timings on March 3, 2011 at 7:07 pm

      Well it’s funny cos people do all the bad stuff and take a dip once in a year to wash off their sins.

      God bless our India!

  4. Dev on April 16, 2010 at 8:27 pm

    “That’s two Switzerlands in the Ganges river in a single day”
    Now that is one fact that I will never forget because of the mental image it creates… ;-)

  5. Reema on April 16, 2010 at 10:42 pm

    “with all these sins being washed away in the river, i wouldn’t want to live in the town downstream from Haridwar. That’s going to be one messed up place!” LOL :D Awesome post!

  6. amreekandesi on April 17, 2010 at 11:01 am

    @mesingh – ;)

    @dinu – no comments? Why…rushing to the Kumbh mela?

    @Dev – See…reading amreekandesi improves your general knowledge. BTW i used to be a quizzing champion back in high school. One of the stars of the Delhi inter school circuit.
    (Now i am just a show off)

    @Reema – thanks :)

  7. amlistening on April 17, 2010 at 10:43 pm

    Loved the part abt washing sins reduced to curing hairfall….good pun :)
    Waiting eagerly for your next post AD

  8. Kavi on April 18, 2010 at 10:34 am

    yes..awaiting the next post !

    :)

  9. Hindi Radio on April 19, 2010 at 11:01 am

    I think this is worlds largest religious gathering! Can you believe that it goes this smooth and we hear very small incedents occuring in it? what an arrangement!

  10. Solilo on April 22, 2010 at 9:34 pm

    Whoa! washing sins every year only to repeat it.

  11. arunii on April 23, 2010 at 2:23 pm

    In kalyuga, Ganga is jewel of india because in other countries , you will not find such holy rivers ! (they are simple rivers) hats off to India

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