This Friday night, as the world celebrated the onset of the weekend by drinking humongous volumes of liquor and ending up drowned in their vomit on the train back home, a group of losers was busy on Twitter cracking bar jokes.
They would write jokes and then just laugh at their creations themselves. All rather lame if you ask me. I know because i too was there.
Nobody was spared. From Muralitharan to SM Krishna to Sarah Palin. Not even the Pope was shown any mercy.
Here’s some of the better ones.
@daddy_san: Lindsay Lohan walks into a bar. Then she walks into bars.
@MumbaiCentral: Akshay Kumar walks into a bar, finds an invalid man, and grins like a jackass.
@OldMonkMGM: Rakhi Sawant walks into a bar and finds Gejus!
@cgawker: A catholic priest walks into a bar. The bartender says they don’t serve kids.
@amreekandesi: Murali walks into a bar. Gets accused of chucking.
@gkhamba: Suresh Kalmadi walks into a bar. He calls it the best bar ever with “world class” facilities.
@doomoo A PETA activist walks into a bar, gets drunk, eats some meat and loosens arse.
@i_r_squared: Sunny Deol walks into a bar. Later you discover he was actually dancing into the bar.
@gkhamba Arindam Chaudhari walks into a bar, sees that all the employees are his students.
@daddy_san: Mel Gibson walks into a bar and a few teeth walk out of the women around him
@nelsonnium Madonna walks into a bar, and adopts the bartender coz he’s black.
@sha_gun: Lady Gaga walks into a bar. The bartender asks her, “What can I get for you, Sir ?”
@OldmonkMGM Kangana Ranaut walks into a Bar finds a stud and shouts “You! BAAAAARSTUUUUUUUD”
@GabbarSingh: Mandhur bhandarkar walks into a bar, the result will be on SetMax soon.
@sreeyesh: Amitabh Bachchan walks into a bar. Followed by Abhishek. Followed by Ash. Followed by Jaya. Followed by Amar Singh. It’s a package deal.
@over_rated: Salman Khan walks into a bar. By “walks” I mean “drives”. And by bar I mean a pavement full of homeless people.
@amoghranadive: Raj Thackeray walks into a bar, and then vandalizes it because the sign board was not in Marathi.
@brainstuck: I walk into a bar and realize that it’s actually my car
@daddy_san: George W. Bush walks into a bar, almost chokes to death and invades Ireland in retaliation.
@brainstuck: Arnold walks into a bar and says I will be back…
@eyemanut: Sania Mirza walks into a bar and is out in the first round.
@dreamzdotcom: kailash Kher walks into a bar and gets his drink in a TOOTATOOTA glass!!
@Nishad_M: Atal bihari Vajpayee walks into the bar and he walks walks walks walks walks….
@silv3rglee: Mihir (from kyunki fame) walks into a bar, drinks himself to death, is cremated, but comes to life after public outrage.
@TheHumerus Sunny Deol walks into a bar and bashes up the Pakistani bartender
@mad_nad: Isner and Mahut walk in to a bar and they run out of stock
@amreekandesi: SM Krishna walks into a bar. Gets drunk and makes out with Qureshi.
@TheHumerus: Mark Zuckerberg walks into a bar. And everyone starts *liking* & *poking* him
Missed you? Use the comments space to add your gems.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by amreekandesi, amreekandesi. amreekandesi said: Compilation of some of the funny #barjoke tweets from last night. http://bit.ly/aJl4xw [...]
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Awesome.Where and how did you compile this?
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I was part of the mayhem. Kept track of the good ones
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this was awesome fun..
himesh and anu malik walked into a bar and everyone else came out of it….
the french walked into a bar and got suspended (related to the football team which got suspended recently)
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“himesh and anu malik walked into a bar and everyone else came out of it….”
Good one!
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Nice joke
It reminds me of a bar joke below:
A man goes into a restaurant and is
seated. All the waitresses are
gorgeous. A particularly voluptuous
waitress wearing a very short skirt
comes to his table and asks, “What
would you like, sir?”
He looks at the menu and then scans
her beautiful frame top to bottom,
then answers, “A quickie.”
The waitress turns and walks away
in disgust. After she regains her
composure she returns and asks
again, “What would you like, sir?”
Again the man thoroughly checks
her out and again answers, “A
quickie, please.”
This time her anger takes over, she
reaches over and slaps him across
the face with a resounding “SMACK!”
and storms away.
A man sitting at the next table leans
over and whispers, “Um, Pal, I think
it’s pronounced ‘quiche’
lol
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when it comes to bar… i’m gonna stick with moe’s tavern
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lol..good stuff..
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This may not be quite the place to declare this but I do feel for and admire Lindsay Lohan, she’s got the right stuff IMHO, even if she might be a little muddled. Go, Lindsay!
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lol these are good. I liked G.Bush invading Ireland rofl
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I’m strong=)
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