November 8, 2010

Obama may not promise to blow up Pakistan any day soon, or even to help India get into the UN Security Council, but here’s a few things that could make this trip worthwhile for us Indians.

1. Salaries in India are getting higher, and the attrition rate is a killer. Can we outsource some of our call center work to your country? It will work out nicely given that we wont even need to provide diction training to your guys.

2. Take Arundhati with you. She is smart, intelligent, and brilliant. Please give her citizenship of your awesome country; don’t bother with visas. That’s silly crap for lesser worthy people.

3. Also, we want Chetan B to get the Booker award. Maybe he will stop writing columns in the paper once he gets it.

4. You in America are also politicians. How do you manage? We try to swindle a few thousand crores (less than a billion dollars), and the media is on us like Tiger Woods chasing the girls.  We want to know your secret.

Movies. Two things.

5. Firstly, we want to see Rakhi Sawant in a Hollywood movie. There are too many reasons to list out here, so just do it.

6. Secondly, we want Angelina Jolie to adopt a nice Indian kid to add to her collection.

However therein lies a dilemma. [ To use that line from the movie where your Indian named actress kills a lot of Japanese people. Or was that Chinese?]

We cant pick a child from any particular region, so she will need to adopt one kid per national language. Which makes it 22.

7. Confirm to us once and for all – are you a Muslim? We promise we will not tell anyone, but it will increase the faith we have in you, and we will buy more stuff. You know how it is when you buy more from the grocery store if you are able to connect with the shopkeeper (and get some discounts).

These are all we have for now. There is a joint parliamentary committee in place to come up with a complete list of our demands. They should be done in about 8 months, and we will send it to you by Overnight Fedex.

Please confirm your address.

PS: Dont forget that our PM is older than you. We hope you will be respectful in obeying people senior to you, and do the needful at the earliest.

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10 Responses to “ ObaMake-It-Happen ”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by amreekandesi and amreekandesi, Narita Mehrotra. Narita Mehrotra said: RT @amreekandesi: New blog post: ObaMake-It-Happen. http://bit.ly/ObaMakeItHappen […]

  2. ravi on November 8, 2010 at 1:21 am

    hahaha. Nice one.
    But one unrelated question – why a hatred about Chetan B?
    And I’m surprised that there is no mention of Rajinikanth in this article. ;)

  3. B K CHOWLA on November 8, 2010 at 9:42 am

    I endorse every part of requests.
    I would like to add to “take away” list.C an we not send Kasab and afzal guru with him?

  4. amlistening on November 8, 2010 at 1:37 pm

    Nice job! I second to Ravi’s point of seeing Rajni in that list. He surely will give Arnold and Stallone a run for their money as Rajni proves that you dont need a great body to make fans….and ofcourse there no thing as logic ;)
    And dont let rakhi go pls….who will sort out great indian puzzles on Rakhi ka insaaf…unless rakhi promises to continue that show from US. May be the first episode can feature Clintons and then Tiger Woods..

    AD you pick interesting topics….i cant stop writing.
    What abt Barkha dutt!…wanna trade her for jon stewart!

  5. kavi on November 8, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    And we will get all our MPs to clap. ok ?

  6. Phoenixritu on November 9, 2010 at 3:15 pm

    And can he be an inmate on Big Boss? That would be fun!

  7. liju philip on November 11, 2010 at 1:12 pm

    can we even send Mamta Banerjee & Raja to the US? One will show how not to work and the other creative ways of swindling money to the Wall street sharks.

  8. prasant on November 21, 2010 at 7:08 pm

    @phoenixritu: on big boss, srsly? lol :P

  9. rajindre on November 30, 2010 at 12:23 pm

    liked the post, I also endorse all the above request but obama is a good businessman also and thinks for long-term benefits for his country.

  10. Puerto Banus Hen on December 20, 2010 at 12:05 pm

    The other creative ways of swindling money to the Wall street sharks.

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