2011 – A Wishlist for India
2010 was a lot of action for India. We endured the trauma that was to be the Commonwealth games, there were numerous scandals and scams, Barkha Dutt had to appear on TV sans makeup in a bid to save face following the Radia saga, Mukesh Ambani got his atrocious billion dollar monster of a home, Kasab continues to live, the US raised Visa fees. Phew.
The list is long, and we will let the magazines run their year end top ten special editions. This year is done with. Nothing can be done about it. For now, what we can do is be clear on what a good 2011 would be.
Let’s see. Here’s our 2011 wishlist.
To start with, lets go easy on the scams. It will be nice to limit it to a single scam involving more than Rs 10,000 crores, and maybe just a couple between 1-1000 crores.
It would be good if the world does not end during the year. Aajtak tells us it is bound to happen in 2012; it would totally suck if somebody made an impromptu decision to advance the date before we were able to check off all items on our bucket lists.
We need to see more of Rahul Gandhi before the world self destructs.
Talking of news channels, can we please have an unlimited supply of diapers for our brave journalists? They seem to be run around like headless chicken, and their expressions suggest an inadequate access to bathrooms.
If you could get rid of all stones in Kashmir, that would totally rock. The resulting unemployment spike might just turn out to be a good thing for the govt to step in and redeem itself.
Vegetables have become a big pain point for us these days. If we could have some guarantee that no vegetable will cross the Rs 100/kg mark, that would be much appreciated.
No movies featuring Katrina Kaif please. Every time we see her act, we feel like stabbing us with our toothbrush. Also, Aishwarya Rai, who could still be acceptable in horror flicks.
A couple, even just a single episode of Ballika Vadhu where nobody shouts at anybody less powerful than them. A day when no drums roll; when the blood pressure doesn’t shoot up defining all laws of gravity. That would be wonderful.
It would be refreshing to see Sonuuu Niiigam go back to his originally spelt name, not mess with his hair, and sing some of the awesome songs he is so capable of.
Also instructive would be a Chetan Bhagat article in the paper that proves to us ordinary folks that the people who go to IIT and IIM are indeed the brightest brains in the country.
Asking for all politicians to disappear would be too much we suppose?
Even if we could come up with a vaccine for the foot in mouth disease so rampant among the current crop, that would help. This disease seems to have gotten even more contagious than the swine flu.
There. Should be simple enough. Of course, we do realize that even god can’t hit a century every time he is out on the pitch.