Twitter Roundup – 2010 In Review

December 31, 2010

2010 was an eventful year, which in India translates into tremendous potential for humor. You cant survive this country without a funny bone, and our politicians and media provide a continuous stream of fodder for the comedians.

Here’s a compilation of some of my funny/punny tweets from this year.

  • India released 25 Pak militants yday. All in good faith.”Thank you, come again.”
  • Mayawati has 380 carats of diamonds. She plans to put them back in the TajMahal.
  • Just what exactly do we expect to gain by a UNSC permanent seat? It doesn’t come with a pair of balls.
  • What do you call an Indian Wedding where there is no Paneer? Fiction.
  • Rahul Mahajan should marry Sarah Jessica Parker. They can then gallop away into the sunset.
  • Delhi Police to launch new service for constipated people. Tagline: “We will beat the crap out of you”.
  • In India we just have to go to the doctor. Apples cost Rs 150/kg.
  • Dear retarded driver out on Delhi’s roads. The left is for Communist crap, not for overtaking.
  • Kapil Sibal looks like his eye-brows could use a Lawn Mower.
  • Salman making ‘Wanted 2?. It will be titled ‘Unwanted’.
  • Every cloud has a silver lining. Everywhere except India. They stole it.
  • I miss Sunny Deol. He had such amazing SCREAM presence.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, suicide bombing will probably be a bad idea
  • MS Gill is comparing CWG 2010 to a Punjabi wedding, hoping things will fall in place. Only the dowry has already been paid out.
  • Kalmadi’s orders were to be ‘run the games’. Somebody mistyped them to ‘ruin the games’. He’s just doing his job.
  • So Anandi of Balika Vadhu has grown up. The serial now goes from a child exploitation theme to the regular wife battery.
  • If at first you don’t succeed, get a job with a news channel. They will hire retards.
  • Somebody must have said that they want CWG 2010 to present the real India. Somebody took it literally.
  • What did they call the Texas man who cheated this nice family that helped him? Austin ka saamp.
  • The one word that continues to give grief to young people all over India. Uncle.
  • CWG, Floods, Ayodhya, Munni. Too much going on these days. Can we get back to the old rape/murder/dacoity news breaks now?
  • Pak asking India to exercise restraint in Kashmir is quite like Arnab asking his interviewees to let him also speak
  • What does the Cricket loving Kashmiri protestor call a successful rally in Srinagar? Lal Chowka.
  • How many politicians does it take to spread mass hysteria in the nation? None. Let’s not forget the media.
  • Alright China, enough of your ‘India Controlled Kashmir’ crap. Now on you shall be referred to as Pakistan’s bitch.
  • Juhi Chawla’s next movie to be called ‘I AM’. May be a good idea to rename it to ‘I WAS’
  • After all these years, the best entertainment TV can offer still remains FRIENDS. Only India TV comes close.
  • Maoists call for Chidambaram resignation. They truly care for the country.
  • Another suicide attack in Pakistan? WTF guys, at least give the flood a chance?
  • Rahul comparing SIMI to RSS is like us comparing him to Justin Bieber.
  • India must be the world’s largest salt consumer. We just have to take everything with a pinch of salt here.
  • Modern day terrorists have built up a great intelligence network. They call it TV.
  • Ashok Chavan’s comment about his mom-in-law not being a family member must be the most daring statement ever by a married man.
  • The problem with the Indian education system is that our colleges produce too many UNDER graduates.
  • Wedding: A place where a thousand pigs stuff themselves while one gets slaughtered.
  • Every November Delhi consumes more food than Somalia does in a decade, thanks to the wedding season.
  • In Delhi, nothing spells loser more than not attending a single farmhouse wedding all November.
  • If Narendra Modi displays shades of Mao, then Justin Bieber is Rahul Gandhi’s long lost brother.
  • If Arundhati Roy takes up the fight against corruption and goes on a fast unto death, that will be a true win-win situation.
  • Chetan Bhagat’s brilliance is like the Loch Ness monster; supposed to be there but nobody can seem to find it.
  • Malaika gives Sheila a run for her Munni.
  • Barkha projecting herself as gullible is like Sheila saying she thought it was going to be an educational video.
  • Gadkari could be the new face of the Big Fat Indian wedding.
  • Every morning I wake up all positive and thankful for the gift of life. And then I pick up the newspaper.
  • If there were any justice in this world, there would be nuts only in chocolates, not the Parliament.
  • Arundhati Roy’s husband owns an illegal bungalow in a tiger reserve. They probably call it ‘The Hypocrisy’.
  • If Julian Assenge had been arrested in Delhi he would have already confessed to the Dhaula Kuan rape, and a few more.
  • The BJP seems to have had a bad heir day ever since Atal Bihari Vajpayee.
  • Let’s take Kasab out on the street & have him shout “Sachin is inconsistent!” That will be his death penalty right there.
  • The Bharat Ratna deserves Sachin Tendulkar.
  • The only purpose Chandrababu Naidu’s 8 day fast seems to have served was reminding us that he still exists.
  • If cricket is a religion in India, i am happily atheist.
  • Katrina Kaif got mobbed in a Mumbai mall yesterday. Going by the TMK reviews, i guess they all wanted a refund.
  • Looks like the Congress has a new set of guidelines: “Dead men make the perfect scapegoats”.
  • India needs an all-Gujjar cricket team. If they don’t win, at least they will beat the crap out of the opposition.
  • The Gujjar cricket team tagline could be: “We will beat them, either way.”

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3 Responses to “ Twitter Roundup – 2010 In Review ”

  1. […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by amreekandesi. amreekandesi said: Compilation of some of my funny tweets from 2010. [RTs/Comments appreciated] […]

  2. latasuksham on December 31, 2010 at 9:15 am

    Thanks for the updates.It is wonderful to have the taste of your mouth watering tweets of the outgoing year.Wish you and your Junior Amreekan Desi a very happy and prosperous 2011.Keep tweeting…….looking forward.

  3. Bye Bye 2010 | AmreekanDesi on December 31, 2010 at 5:16 pm

    […] time of the year i must close accounts, which in blog terms translates into an annual roundup. The Twitter roundup is already done. This one is for the […]

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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