Why India Will Win The 2011 Cricket World Cup

March 14, 2011
By

The pundits may say anything, but the evidence is overwhelming. India are going to win the 2011 Cricket World Cup.

Here’s just a few of the reasons why.

Have you seen that Mountain Dew ad? ‘Dar ke aage jeet hai“.
After five matches so far, the Indians seem apprehensive, doubtful, scared, daresay they seem to be peeing their pants at times. If they are scared then jeet is ours.

Dhoni and co. dared to bare in this new Pepsi campaign. With their atrocious body-painted posters plastered all over India, the naked guns deserve at least the world cup in return for the stunted promotion.

Then this Kapil Dev has been a legend for far too long, thanks to a fluke from 28 years ago. Its time someone set the record straight and put the oldies in their place.

Besides, all this talk about having balanced teams with good batting, bowling and fielding is overrated. Someone needs to show the world that you can pack a team with good batsmen Sachin Tendulkar and smash your way to the World Cup.

Very importantly, a win at the Cricket world cup will bring about a massive boost to other sports in India. Because in India when cricket gets money, other sports also grow.

Hockey is an exception. Those who say you dont take anything with you when you die are liars. Dhyan Chand took hockey with him.

All said and done, everybody has been working so hard at it. Radio jockeys, News channel anchors, barbers, all dropping their regular activities towards doing their bit towards helping India along. Just imagine if we were to lose, all that hard work comes to naught. The resulting drop in morale could actually bring down our GDP growth rate by a couple of percentages, and give our PM a couple of sleepless nights.

Now, dont we all want a well rested PM?

Think also of those who, taken in by a radio channel, bought new underwear to watch the match as that was supposed to bring luck. Likely it was a stunt by Jockey, but multiply by millions of fans fanatics, and you have crores of sunk investment.

Cant. Let. That. Happen.

Talking of investment, Mandira Bedi has planned out her noodle straps all the way to the final, and one for the winners’ after-party. Cant disappoint the nice lady now, can we?

Heck, even Navjot Sidhu’s been rehearsing non stop in front of  the mirror. He’s got lined up 44 jokes that crackle like a little boy on seeing his father open a bottle of Pepsi. 11 for each match till the final. The final that will erupt like a volcano on Jupiter every time Chacha Chaudhary got messed with.

Meanwhile, Indian petroleum companies have been forced to sell oil at a loss because of rising costs, and the fear that people will not bring back the govt to power if petrol becomes expensive. If we win the world cup, the resulting distraction might allow the govt to get away with a price normalization. People will happily buy petrol at Rs 99.94 per liter in the happy daze that the world cup win will bring.

Most importantly, there is a god, and a secular government at the center helps get him on our side.

If god doesn’t relent, Karunanidhi has agreed to step in and help out.

This year must truly be India’s best shot. With 2012 coming up soon, who knows kal ho na ho?

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17 Responses to “ Why India Will Win The 2011 Cricket World Cup ”

  1. Hit Wicked on March 14, 2011 at 11:57 pm

    Haha. If Indian team reads this, they are surely going to get one much needed morale booster. And are they listening to ‘Jeeyo Khilaadi Waahe Waahe’? Double-Boost!

  2. Addy on March 14, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    Thats too many reasons! We need to win the cup! And honestly leave the rest of the team aside (they are kids) Whats up with Sachin Tendulkar? He is supposed to be the GOD! And he can’t even stand in the middle for mere 50 overs? And score a 400+ score for India? How lame is that? If we don’t win the world cup this time, blame it on Tendulkar!

    • ABCD on March 16, 2011 at 5:04 pm

      Abe Chaddy !!!ohh sorry Addy kya be tu to sach-much me hi bhagwan maan liya be sachin ko…Tu hi saccha bhakt lagta hai be. Good question sachin ko akele hi match jita dena chahiye agar wo god hai to…sachin to yaar 50 over bhi nahi khel paata yaar…kahan ka god hai…chaddy tu saath khelega to jaroor 50over khelega be…

  3. Gauttam on March 14, 2011 at 11:59 pm

    heheh thats funny…. Match winners like Munaf Patel and Ashish Nehra will surely win this cup for us… Ohh i forgot to mention Piyush Chawla!! We will win this world cup surely, so that 28 years later some other bloke calls this 2011 a fluke!! :P

  4. Kiran on March 15, 2011 at 1:31 am

    Haha! Your sense of humor never fails :D Of course, India is gonna win ;)

  5. Lata Varma on March 15, 2011 at 6:55 am

    Loved it!

  6. latasuksham on March 15, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Congrats in advance.Well said, after all God is on our side.We rely quite abit on prayers and are quite good at it.All the best INDIA.

  7. amlistening on March 15, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    Interesting take AD!
    Another reason for India to win is that this blog will have more such posts not related to twitter :D

  8. Lioness on March 16, 2011 at 10:04 am

    ….you’ve pulled out a good one to save the Pepsi ravaged drooping…err droooling err whateva souls of our Indian cricket team. We need to send some luck to those bravehearts braving the Indian subcontinent unpredictive weather, no kidding ;)

    I’v lost interest in cricket long back. I just watch it if i want some comic relief these days. Its a circus!

    God’s must be listening after all 2012 ain’t far.

  9. rajinder on March 18, 2011 at 6:26 am

    interesting post.loved it.God bless our indian team and be in their side,this I wish.

  10. rajinder on March 27, 2011 at 12:28 pm

    since our Prime Minister has now invited PAk President and their other officials to witness the Cricket match in Mohali, as a goodwill gesture, Our team may be pressurised to lose tne match dramatically .However let us watch but politicians should be kept away from the such matches perhaps for fair play.

  11. sweety on March 29, 2011 at 1:17 pm

    no need to wish Pakistan best of luck (as i have seen done by some sports lover indians). all mad.this is a war between india and pak just that it is being fought by bat and ball instead of guns nd bombs.i truly truly hope pak gets totally humiliated and defeated and never dare to step onto our motherland for any any any reason.this should be the last time ever these pakis step onto our soil.all the best my dear indian players.god be with you all tomorrow at every step and guide you to victory.BHARAT MATAA KI JAI

    • sweety on March 29, 2011 at 1:30 pm

      OK

  12. rajinder on April 3, 2011 at 12:26 am

    This post has now become true.
    India has today i.e. 02.04.2011 won world cricket cup after defeating Sri Lanka at mumbai.Indian team has shown fantastic performance and because of consistent best performances, it deserved such a grand success.
    kal ho yan na ho, aaj kar ke indian team ne dhikah diya…

  13. India Won Cricket worldcup:)

  14. Prasanna Sundaram on September 29, 2011 at 2:47 pm

    “The final that will erupt like a volcano on Jupiter every time Chacha Chaudhary got messed with.”

    – Outrageously hilarious! Priceless!!!

  15. comunidade online on February 9, 2017 at 5:16 pm

    Maiden Like Place Common Beat 276848191 of times !! Great Post :)

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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