Cricket. Pakistan. Mahabharat. 2012
Its all coming together now, like the brilliant script of Yamla Pagla Deewana.
Here’s how the world will end.
1. India lose in tomorrow’s semi final against Pakistan.
2. Pakistan go on to win the world cup.
3. Javed Miandad laughs at Mandira Bedi on Times Now in contempt; calls her stupid.
4. Mandira takes offense and vows to never wear a Banarasi sari with a tinge of green, purple, and violet, ever again.
5. India goes into shock. Industrial production declines. Sensex tanks. BJP moves no-confidence motion in Parliament.
6. Govt calls upon Shahrukh Khan to help out.
7. SRK sets up training camp and takes the Indian cricket team through 6 months of gruelling training that involves 10 rounds of the ground in 7 minutes and beating up Gujjar gangs trying to molest women at McDonalds.
8. Finally the team is ready. Jan 2012.
9. India travels to Pakistan for a bilateral series. [BCCI rejects tri-series with Bangladesh as India will not tolerate any third party involvement in ties with Pakistan.]
10. India kicks Pakistani ass, whitewashing them 10-0, after going through 8 batting collapses, 4 Tendulkar centuries, bed bug ridden hotel rooms, and Poonam Pandey missing from the dressing room because Pakistan denied her visa.
11. Having been rid of all evil, the world ends in December 2012. A day before it happens, Harbhajan declares his profound love for his fellow men.
[Patriotic disclaimer: I am sure India will win the match, and go on to claim the world cup. 2012 will just have to find a less Mahabharat-ish way to come about.]