Cricket. Pakistan. Mahabharat. 2012

March 29, 2011

Its all coming together now, like the brilliant script of Yamla Pagla Deewana.

Here’s how the world will end.

1. India lose in tomorrow’s semi final against Pakistan.

2. Pakistan go on to win the world cup.

3. Javed Miandad laughs at Mandira Bedi on Times Now in contempt; calls her stupid.

4. Mandira takes offense and vows to never wear a Banarasi sari with a tinge of green, purple, and violet, ever again.

5. India goes into shock. Industrial production declines. Sensex tanks. BJP moves no-confidence motion in Parliament.

6. Govt calls upon Shahrukh Khan to help out.

7. SRK sets up training camp and takes the Indian cricket team through 6 months of gruelling training that involves 10 rounds of the ground in 7 minutes and beating up Gujjar gangs trying to molest women at McDonalds.

8. Finally the team is ready. Jan 2012.

9. India travels to Pakistan for a bilateral series. [BCCI rejects tri-series with Bangladesh as India will not tolerate any third party involvement in ties with Pakistan.]

10. India kicks Pakistani ass, whitewashing them 10-0,  after going through 8 batting collapses, 4 Tendulkar centuries, bed bug ridden hotel rooms, and Poonam Pandey missing from the dressing room because Pakistan denied her visa.

11. Having been rid of all evil, the world ends in December 2012. A day before it happens, Harbhajan declares his profound love for his fellow men.


[Patriotic disclaimer: I am sure India will win the match, and go on to claim the world cup. 2012 will just have to find a less Mahabharat-ish way to come about.]

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9 Responses to “ Cricket. Pakistan. Mahabharat. 2012 ”

  1. amlistening on March 30, 2011 at 12:19 am

    Haha are in full flow…but no off from office tomm :(

  2. Dhaval on March 30, 2011 at 12:33 am

    Good one :) You take a tweets speed to churn a blogpost, that makes for a refreshing read.

  3. Prateek on March 30, 2011 at 1:07 am

    Haha! “Govt. calling SRK for help.” Indeed a 2012 is cooked up really well. :P

  4. Vishal Raj on March 30, 2011 at 1:43 am

    You blew it all. I wish to see this improvised version of SRK Chak De India !

  5. Kiran on March 30, 2011 at 2:26 am

    Haha! This one was seriously a laugh!

  6. Pallavi on March 31, 2011 at 11:05 am

    “like the brilliant script of Yamla Pagla Deewana”… now,that is a brilliant line.

  7. Lioness on March 31, 2011 at 2:29 pm


    Seems like not cricket but 2012 is fixed, rigged, call it woteva you fancy.
    By the by, your patriotic disclaimer came true, India sent Paki’s back home with their tails between their legs.
    Your art of fiction was truly hilarious though. Love your writings….my sense of humor sucks, so I can appreciate yours.


    P.S> Its time now to send the Lankan’s back home…so how about a Ramayana instead ;P

  8. Andres on April 1, 2011 at 9:16 pm

    Really fantastic article, but i think we all need more information about how this wolrd is going to end.

    I share with you my personal testimonio were you can find better way to look this 2012.

  9. Mehwish Khan on November 12, 2011 at 12:24 am

    its really nice post…. :-) thnxs for posting dear :)

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