BCCI Responds to Poonam Pandey’s Letter

April 2, 2011

Dear Ms Pandey,

We received your letter today and read it with great amusement (and dare we say, excitement). Thanks much for your generous offer of providing a wonderful therapeutic experience to the Indian team that would, theoretically help them win the world cup.

One of the board members even came up with a brilliant one-liner.

This offer ensures that India will win a cup, World or not.

Jokes aside, lets come to the point. While your offer makes sense, here is the problem. It doesn’t make much sense.

Quoting from your letter:

“This I say seriously, as there are many studies conducted by various universities abroad which confirms and infers that such performances/ expectations boost and inspire people to perform better in any field, be it sports or otherwise. Even medical books on psychology and psychiatry confirm this.”

While it might be true that the female form might inspire an MF Husain to greatness, but unlike the ageing great painter, the Indian cricket team is well versed with the ways of the Internet.

It is therefore my humble request to allow me to perform in the privacy of the Indian cricket team’s dressing room or any other place of your choosing. ( you may also choose a foreign land, so that the laws of india – if a hindrance, do not apply)

You see, the problem is that hidden in your offer is a free ticket to the world cup final. Now the Internet might do what you seek to do, for free, and with much more variety. But you will require a ticket to the match and access to the team dressing room. The going rate for this privilege will come to several lakh rupees.

Again, you bring up a foreign location preference. We were planning on taking the entire board to Las Vegas to celebrate our contribution to India’s world cup triumph, but having you tag along will increase the monetary burden on the already cash strapped board.

We suspect you are in it only for a free ticket and foreign trip, and there’s no guarantee of the promise being delivered.

That, and given that it will be against Indian culture to pay for something we can get for free, we will need to humbly decline your kind offer.

Warm Regards,

[As imagined by yours truly]

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10 Responses to “ BCCI Responds to Poonam Pandey’s Letter ”

  1. Pratul Bagri on April 2, 2011 at 8:44 am

    Ha ha!, Las Vegas! LOL!
    Keep writing more of this stuff :)

  2. Himanshu on April 2, 2011 at 9:54 am

    Haha!! Well I’m a regular reader of Khamba’s blog.. I like the way he presents his sense of satire and wit..!! And I’m here for the first time.. Just want to tell you that even you do this stuff in a great and funny way!! In simple words “I loved your blog”
    Keep writing :)

  3. Kiran @ KiranTarun.com on April 2, 2011 at 6:00 pm

    Hahaha….what more to say?

  4. dinutw on April 3, 2011 at 1:22 am

    good one :D

    congrats btw :D :D

    ps : did you read the book “The goat, the sofa and Mr. Swami”

  5. Usha Pisharody on April 3, 2011 at 10:20 pm

    More fun yet! I did actually wonder what they might say. One of the many is here :D! Brilliant again!

  6. Cinema Gossips on April 4, 2011 at 2:28 am

    Brilliant, she has disappeared since india won the cup

  7. rajinder on April 4, 2011 at 6:06 am

    wonderful …well said..liked the post most.

  8. Vishal Raj on April 4, 2011 at 10:11 am

    This post made my day. Brilliant.

  9. Preeti on April 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm

    hilarious like always..well done

  10. womanistan on April 15, 2011 at 3:04 pm

    Hilarious. Loved the line, “it will be against Indian culture to pay for something we can get for free”

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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