The Lesson of Geeta – Twitter Edition

May 8, 2011
By

During the battle of Mahabharat, Krishna gave Arjun the most important lesson in known history, a record only recently broken by Deepika’s epic number from Dum Maaro Dum. (“Oonche se ooncha banda, potty pe baithe nanga.” The mightiest man craps naked. Profoundness.)

So Arjun was getting emotional about the nitty gritties of fighting against his near and dear ones, and Krishna showed him the true picture of what life is all about. Karma, and all that cool stuff.

Thanks to the social media rat race, once again humans appear to be in dire need for a Krishna to show them the way. While i dont claim to be Krishna (or Deepika), let’s try to revisit the lesson for the benefit of humanity.

The Geeta ka Saar, applied to Twitter.

Why do you worry so much? What are you afraid of? Not having enough followers? Not getting retweeted? Getting unfollowed by the one celebrity who recently started following you? For celebs, getting too much hatred from your fans?

How many followers did you bring with you, and how many will you take away? None. Zilch. Then stop worrying. One day life’s going to unfollow you. Worry about that.

Follower count is a mere stat. They will come, eventually. Did Jesus ever go on top of Mount whatever and shout out – “Need 45 more to 10,000. Please RT”?

And what’s this obsession with retweets?

Why worry about how many retweets your funny one-liners get? RTs come and RTs go. Good karma is forever. Dont get bogged down by the number of RTs you get. Dont fret about less funnier people who make it to the Twitter home page every time they crack a joke.

There will come a time in life when people you considered buddies will not just disagree with you, but also call you a troll. Ignore them. Seriously, just block the mofos.

Unfollowing is a natural process, much like life and death. Just move on. Unfollow back.

There will be days when you come up with genius tweets that fail to get a single reply. It would even appear like the whole world is conspiring to ignore you, but you must not let it affect you. Keep going at it. It’s your Karma. You may feel like logging off and not telling the world about your wonderful breakfast that the dog spoiled, but if you do that you have lost already.

And you celebrities, most of you will get hated and made fun of, whatever you say. Even something as innocuous as ‘Hello friends. I am here. Love you all. xoxoxo‘ will get you some nasty comments from the publicity hungry masses. Screw them, don’t bother. You are the famous ones. Not them.

Nobody said life was easy. Just stop being a wimp, and man up. [Or, going with the politically correct terminology, person up.]

Now take a deep breath and repeat after me.

I will not care about my follower count.
I will not bother about the number of times i get retweeted
I will not fret about getting unfollowed, come what may.
I will not care about the haters.

Good. Now go play with your child, and stop wasting time on Twitter.

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16 Responses to “ The Lesson of Geeta – Twitter Edition ”

  1. Dhaval on May 8, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    “There will be days when you come up with genius tweets that fail to get a single reply. It would even appear like the whole world is conspiring to ignore you, but you must not let it affect you. Keep going at it. It’s your Karma.”

    Someone is still bitter about the “Holier than taou” joke not making it big. :D

    • amreekandesi on May 8, 2011 at 4:26 pm

      haha…there’s too many!

  2. Kiran @ KiranTarun.com on May 9, 2011 at 1:51 am

    Hahaha! The things people tweet about, just to attract more followers. Sheeshh!!!!!

    • amreekandesi on May 14, 2011 at 11:56 am

      On that note, as of today i am 29 away from 3000 :P

  3. Moon on May 9, 2011 at 7:17 pm

    Therefore, O amreekandesi, you tweet the words prescribed by the scriptures without sleezy twitpics, meticulously without typos and do avoid dummy links. Sacrifice the foul language and may the trolls bring forth desired pleasures to you. And may your followers prosper, thus progressing and prospering by mutual efforts may you attain the supreme goal. Thus fostered, the gods will grant you the desired follower count!

    • amreekandesi on May 14, 2011 at 11:57 am

      What a wonderful prayer. Hope you too get your desired follower count!

  4. deekshavarji on May 10, 2011 at 4:18 pm

    The way you refer Geeta Ka Saar to Twitter is simply superb…..i think regular updates will definitely attract more followers and even if we don’t get enough followers we should not get bothered about it because we know what we are.

    • amreekandesi on May 14, 2011 at 11:58 am

      Thanks. And yes, thats the whole point of the Geeta. Unfortunately, we are all human.

  5. Indian Homemaker on May 11, 2011 at 9:55 am

    Good one :) Congratulations on Blogadda pick :)

  6. amlistening on May 14, 2011 at 10:32 pm

    Dejavu…..Everytime I absorb an area people are passionate about, something tells me there are more in the world that people are crazier about. You twitter fans live in a whole different world it seems. You have your jargon, rules and defaulters!! Now a tip for all those lovely (!)private universities…you should start a course “Science of twitter” ;)

    • amreekandesi on May 23, 2011 at 12:32 am

      True…Twitter concepts would not make much sense to people not on it yet!

  7. mugdha on May 20, 2011 at 1:31 am

    This twitter Geeta indeed!
    As easy to quote it, so difficult to follow it. Have seen onche se oncha banda, failing to stick to it.
    Our being human make us do it.
    Between, am yet Zen there. Dont mind my hits being ignored and enjoy my anonymity with a free speech! So maybe thats Geeta or ‘dil ke khush rakhne ko ghalib ye khayal achha hai’!

    Interesting Read!!

  8. ShaKri on November 3, 2011 at 3:50 pm

    Hilarious rendition mate. :) Fine read.

    @shakWrites

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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