Open Letter to the Indian PM

June 6, 2011
By

Dear Mr Prime Minister,

We write this letter to you from the bottom of a pit of great despair and frustration. We just don’t get it. There’s too many funny events happening in our country, and as the head of family somewhere it all seems to be your responsibility. And no, by funny events we are not referring to the Comedy Circus.

Your minions are all over news channels, raising what appear to be far fetched and pretty idiotic stories about ongoing events. [Frankly speaking, most of them appear in need of medical help; the Foot & Mouth disease seems to have reached epidemic proportions. Luckily we have AIIMS which must have found a cure by now.] But not sure  if they are to blame. They are the minions, and you are the very learned and much respected Prime Minister. We need to hear from you. We need someone taking accountability before the country slips into the darkness of utter anarchy.

Lets go with the latest scar – this weekend’s drama concerning Baba Ramdev at the Ramlila ground in Delhi. The man declared that he will go on a hunger strike for the cause of bringing back the lakhs of crores of black money stashed abroad. Your people went into overdrive trying to get him to back off. Four ministers going after him to convince him. Four? Were you that scared? Really?

Then when he started the fast, you sent 5000 policemen to disperse his gathering of over 50,000 men, women and children. Tear gas. Lathis. On unarmed women and children participating in a peaceful protest? Not sure if you were told this, but they were all sleeping, not setting up concrete bunkers with machine guns.

Last we heard, weren’t we a democratic nation which gave the world the whole satyagraha concept? Or is it just a convenient word to be used for occasions where it benefits the people in power?

We havent heard from you or the Congress president, but your homies are giving some funny reasons. They say the crackdown was done because of the RSS. They claim that the RSS was backing Ramdev, which makes the movement inherently dangerous. Sorry to disagree, but didnt hear him bringing up religion anywhere. It was all about corruption. Sounds like the real danger was to the people in power scared of the common man getting a meaningful forum to set things right.

This is just so confusing. Reminds us of that saying about too many cooks spoiling the kitchen. We dont need multiple cooks when we have a world class chef with so many degrees and much repute in the world.

Lets just get rid of the cooks. They’re anyway giving us diarrhea. Show us the true master.

Seriously, this Ramdev episode is befuddling. Ye baat kuchh hazam nahi hui, to put it succinctly.

And generally speaking, just what is going on with the country? Been a while since we heard from you, and we are now getting snowed under scams that keep appearing even more frequently than an extra-marital affair on a Colors show these days. Needless to say, their investigation (and resolution) too seems pretty drawn out and futile just like the happenings on the sad said shows.

Going by the current posturing it seems quite certain that the Lokpal bill is not going anywhere. At best, it might just turn out be a damp squib very different from the original vision. But we wont be surprised, given we already know about your plans to reduce the RTI act to a toothless tiger.

In India, the big brother is watching. Always. But who will watch the big brother?

The good thing though would be the perfect lesson in diplomacy. The famed four steps towards getting something done, as prescribed by our ancient scriptures – Saam. Daam. Dand. Bhed. [Reason. Buy. Bully. Divide]. Your people know their scriptures well, which is quite laudable. But even these skills seem visible only in internal matters, against our own people. Why cant these skills be used to gain points against old friends China and Pakistan, where more often it is just a matter of us stamping our foot. On an axe.

Just one last thing.

In high school civics we were taught about the principle of collective responsibility. That the cabinet sinks and swims together. The current cabinet seems to have skipped all those civics classes. Scam after scam, heads roll but you guys keep going with not a whimper. The motto seems to be Mera Naam Joker’s The Show Must Go On‘.

While we appreciate the resilience, please also give us the opportunity to appreciate accountability.

Just how many times can we buy the argument that you did not know? You are the Prime Minister. You SHOULD know. And all those degrees have got to be helpful in understanding what your boys are upto. Call a meeting. Setup a conference call. Tell the boys they need to fall in line. Tell them to stop the scams for a little bit. Let us at least absorb the ongoing ones.

Call up Mahendra Dhoni. He’s our best captain ever. He’ll be able to help with tips. He too manages smart people. He too has people from all over the country. He reigned in Sreesanth. He won us the world cup. And the IPL. Twice.

And we will chip in. Just tell us how we can help.

We wanted to be non-violent and get things done peacefully. Anna Hazare started a movement that motivated the people and showed us a path. Most importantly, a non violent path based on logical steps that could just work. Your people appear to be trying hard to derail it. This is not fair. This will not be done.

Mr Prime Minister, we love you and respect you. But you must recognize the voice of the people. You must be able to gauge the direction the wind is blowing in. Silence may be golden, but only in proverbs.

The whistle on the pressure cooker has been going on for a while now. Its about time the chef steps in and does something about it. Too much pressure, and you never know what will happen next.

And yes, please do say our hi to Soniaji.

Regards and all that.
People of India

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12 Responses to “ Open Letter to the Indian PM ”

  1. Rajinder on June 6, 2011 at 7:31 am

    very well said.i pray let the good sense prevail on indian Govt and those who are at the its helm of affairs for the common welfare of all citizen before it is too late.
    In nut shell, if the situations are not peacefully handled, if it is not shown to public by coduct and with full transparency that indian citizens are governed for their welfare,perhaps ways are laid/paved for our short term stay.

  2. manju on June 6, 2011 at 10:52 am

    Open Letter to the Indian PM?

    India has a PM? Where is he?

  3. vadakkus on June 6, 2011 at 11:14 am

    India’s problem is that it has too many people with brains and almost none with balls.

    • amreekandesi on June 19, 2011 at 5:21 pm

      …and the ones with balls are all wasting their time on Twitter :P

  4. Purvesh Janee on June 6, 2011 at 12:33 pm

    Your effort is commendable but it seems that our PM is in a mode of Super Ignorance !

  5. Sankalp Jain on June 7, 2011 at 2:58 pm

    i wonder how Baba Ramdev was able to stop himself from cursing on TV after the ramlila ground incident.. Guess yoga stuff helps..
    AD, your letter is very well written. but please add a “F**K YOU” on behalf of me and the Baba.

  6. RACHIT SHARMA on June 8, 2011 at 2:27 am

    Interesting and quite true. Mr Prime Minister must awake now from his sullen long sleep before it gets too late.

  7. mugdha on June 8, 2011 at 10:17 pm

    Excellent!!
    Loved the frank and straight-talk.
    Wish they could be made to read this, as each one of us was want to shout out in their ears.
    Nice to see people are getting the farce they are being handed over. And posts like these help some other people get direction too.
    Kudos!! Keep up the good work!

    • amreekandesi on June 19, 2011 at 5:23 pm

      Thanks Mugdha. Wonder though, if anybody in power cares about public opinion anymore. Democracy is but a farce in modern Indian.

  8. Yatin Khurana on February 18, 2012 at 5:32 pm

    :|

    you enjoy AAJ TAK in amreeka

    :|

  9. nasir geelani on September 23, 2014 at 7:34 pm

    nice way of presenting things….no boredom…and presenting truth..may it however be through sarcastic means…very nice

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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