How To Hire A Politician

June 18, 2011
By

In yet another first, we managed to lay our hands on the interview questions for selection into a prominent Indian political party.

This is the first time such classified information is making into the public domain. Never before have Indian people had the chance to know how their politicians are selected. Historic, this moment might just be.

Here’s the list of questions. A clever mix of logic, loyalty and love for politics.

1. Is the Earth round? Justify your answer. [Hint: The party president thinks it is not]

2. Group discussion round with 25 other people. You can say anything,  but whoever shouts loudest while maintaining  a smiling face wins.

If you do well here, you are made for panel discussions on news channels.

 

3. Speak for 5 minutes on problems posed to the country by secular parties. If you need to take a pause just walk out of our office yourself, you right wing fanatic.

4. Prove that Newton’s laws are a figment of human imagination. They are, aren’t they? No?

5. The CEO of a prominent company visits you. He talks about an ambitious project that is the dream of his late grandmother. This project is pending your proposal, and he offers a generous commission in return. You:

a. Look around for hidden cameras and/or microphones.
b. Accept his offer graciously. 50% cash upfront transferred to a specified account. How can you say no to a grandma’s wish?
c. Bargain for more.

If you need any more options, you know you are not made for this sort of thing.

6. You are in a discussion with a member of the sworn-enemy-party. The topic is reservation for a particular community. Ideologically our party supports this, but unfortunately so do they. What will you do? [Answer this carefully, this question carries a lot of points.]

7. 1 + 1 = 12.5. Prove.

8. During a debate, you are crazy pissed at an opponent. How would you show your displeasure without getting up and stabbing him through the throat?

We believe this should prove once and for all that becoming a politician is not child’s play. There are specific skills involved, and not everybody has them. So people, give your politicians the credit they deserve.

(Cartoon courtesy: toonpool)

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5 Responses to “ How To Hire A Politician ”

  1. Joe on June 18, 2011 at 4:50 pm

    The 7th point is class in the classic! LOL

    • amreekandesi on June 20, 2011 at 10:04 pm

      You could have another question to prove 1 + 1 = 14.6, and they’ll correctly answer both…

  2. Paul Sunstone on July 5, 2011 at 12:34 pm

    I love it! I am subscribing to your blog.

  3. RDB on July 6, 2011 at 1:48 am

    Full credit to you for this post :)

  4. Ajay on October 5, 2011 at 5:31 am

    This is so cool. Keep writing…

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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