AmreekanDesi » Current Affairs

The Coup That Wasn’t

ananth — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 17:48:02 +0000

Messenger to Macbeth –
As I did stand my watch upon the hill,
I look’d toward Birnam, and anon, methought,
The wood began to move.

Thailand and Mali – countries that have had coups in recent times with several others showing remarkable potential. If you’ve wondered whether we had the potential to go that route, there are some important aspects to consider before being alarmist.

The good news is that a large majority of Indians in a recent Hindustan Times Survey indicated that they didn’t think the army would overthrow the government. But for the 32% that believed that the army might overthrow our civilian government, this might be a mildly reassuring read. It’s not sure whether they said they would ‘like’ the army to do that or whether they believed that the army was ‘going to do that’.

Now let’s get real. Has the army nothing better to do that they will now proactively improve the lot of the common man? Sure, there is political instability, the economy is in the dumps and our social-economic outlook is as dim as a light bulb in a shanty town. But let’s talk about today’s political reality and where the army fits in that context.

First, let’s bring up bureaucratic ineptitude. This possibility has not even been considered in various discussions on the subject. After all, Indian intelligence failed to see 20 Pakistani terrorists armed to the teeth sail across the sea and invade India. The Minister for Agriculture has been more worried about cricketing events that he missed than the deaths of 2,56,913 farmers in the last 16 years. Half of this time, he was in charge. The threshold for gargantuan goof-ups is pretty high and New Delhi’s ignorance about this troop movement isn’t that worrying. Feel better?

Second, why would our army want to overthrow a civilian government? Do they really want to get in the mud and wrestle with politicians? Do they want to give us excellent roads that BRO (Border Roads Organisation) provides those few lucky jurisdictions? Or do they want to change the vast landscape of India into what army cantonments in Punjab, Himachal and Coonoor resemble? Somehow, that’s too altruistic to be true.

Third, let’s talk coup logistics. Unlike Pakistan, where each dictator leaves behind a ‘How to overthrow a civilian government and not be shot dead’ manual, India has no such body of literature or even a simple ‘Dictatorship for Dummies’. Although the Central Government is in Delhi, recent spats with allies have shown that government mandates come from Chennai, Calcutta, Lucknow and sometimes even from New Delhi. The army would have to secure not just the premises of politicians in Delhi, but sundry allies and opponents (since a party is a political ally only depending on a set of existing circumstances) all over the country. This of course assumes that all of the military is going to support the top brass. In India, friends and enemies are relative – we are equally at ease hating ourselves as we hate our neighbours. Any mutinous intent can easily be thwarted by a tangential argument on what cuisine will be ordered for lunch or which IPL team to support. So it’s debatable how willing southern and eastern commands will be in such an escapade.

Fourth, let’s talk next steps. Assuming the army does manage to overthrow the government, then what? Given India’s geopolitical and strategic role in world politics, we can safely say that no dictator here will be at the wrong end of international politics or die like Saddam or Gaddafi. Therefore, at some point, a successful dictator will have to negotiate terms with a transitional government. Let us imagine the dialogues with some key political parties –

BSP – The army is ruled by Brahmins and upper caste Hindus; we will not deal with them until a Dalit is made at least a Brigadier.

CPI – The Indian army uses arms from Israel and US……therefore Israel and US are trying to take over India. We must not negotiate with them.

DMK – ……we will talk to anyone as long as someone from the family is made at least a General.

Shiv Sena – Army is good! If a Maharashtrian is the COAS (Chief of the Army Staff), we don’t even want civilian rule!

The army might be able to negotiate extreme climates, inhuman terrain, sub-par equipment and brave bullets – but they are bound to find their comeuppance in Indian bureaucracy and politicians.

Fifth, the dictator’s Golden Parachute. Our poor candidates have none. Assuming our intrepid General starts off okay but things turn ugly for him, what next? Unlike dictators from other coup-y nations who have some “retirement program” with countries in the Middle East or less popular island nations, most countries would be loath to take an Indian dictator. Where would this lonely dictator go? All other successfully retired world dictators would make fun of him.

The maneuver for the coup seems hard enough but the journey till the transition to civilian government would be even more traumatic for the poor General. It therefore begs the question – why would any right thinking General choose to overthrow civilian government? After all, if it is unimagined sums of money and unaccountable power for their lives– they should join politics like everyone else!

[Guest post by constitutional lawyer M.S. Ananth who is a Georgetown Law graduate, Non-Resident Researcher and generally amiable human being at Brookings Institution Washington D.C. He also argued cases at the Supreme Court of India and survived to tell the tale. Knows a thing or two about filter coffee and killing lizards. Oh and constitutional law.]

[If you would like to write for amreekandesi.com, please read this first, and shoot me a note at contact@amreekandesi.com]

[Image courtesy]

There’s No Such Thing as Bad Publicity

amreekandesi — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 08:08:35 +0000

Not often does an individual’s attending a gathering of writers make so much news as the Salman Rushdie saga has over the past week. Salman Rushdie’s presence at the Jaipur Literature Festival has suddenly become an issue of national importance even bigger than the dress Katrina Kaif wore at her latest public appearance.

But as is the mantra these days, there’s nothing like bad publicity.

Salman Rushdie is back in the public eye, and most certainly his book sales have spiked. Best part is, he didnt even have to do much to get there. All he had to say was he is willing to attend the festival.The clerics who want him killed and the state which has become so very susceptible to blackmail made it easy for him.

More importantly, Rushdie has now opened up the forum for others. Everybody and their mother-in-law has an opinion around the Rushdie saga. Doesn’t matter if they even knew what Rushdie had done to offend so many people, or read a single page of his ill-fated book.

There were brownie points to be earned. You don’t need to read books for that.

Once a door for publicity is opened, its a free for all. You can always jump in and ride the wave. Remember how Kolaveri sparked a million remakes, and most of them got reasonable success? In a way, publicity is like a farm of 6 feet tall, ready to harvest Sugarcane. Jump in, harvest the lot, enjoy while the stock lasts.

The ones who were the first to express support for the banned writer gained the most points. Late arrivals to the party had to resort to strong opinions to get their share of the fame.

Taslima Nasreen, that wonderful woman who would rid the world of all men if she could, jumped in scoring quick boundaries like a Sehwag on a flat track.

Stronger words followed, from one exiled person banished by religious fanatics to another one.

Taslima ji raced to her hundred in double quick time. Meanwhile, lesser celebs on Twitter kept fishing for RTs via their own thoughts on the matter. It was good karma floating all around.

Chetan Bhagat, India’s best selling author of modern times went for the long handle.

‘Banned writers aren’t heroes.’ The ball was out of the park. First ball hit for a six. He went on to elaborate. ”Banned books have hurt people, they have hurt the Muslims. Let’s not make heroes out of them (referring to Rushdie).” There’s a reason the man has sold billions of books.

By now, nearly everybody who matters has expressed their opinion. It is so heart warming to see all the love going around.

Everybody’s a winner in the Salman Rushdie affair. The clerics who wanted him away got what they asked for. The govt asked him to not come, and had their way. Salman Rushdie got talked about more than if he had come to the festival, so obviously he has nothing to complain about. Taslima Nasreen got some points. Chetan Bhagat managed to prove his secular credentials. I got to write a post.

This is the stuff humanity is made of. Whoever said life was a zero sum game? Play it well, and everybody can win.

Gandhiji would be so proud of us today. I think i’ll cry.

[Image courtesy]

No related posts.

I Am Anngry

amreekandesi — Fri, 09 Sep 2011 08:04:45 +0000

Two days ago I was in a hospital waiting room when they flashed news on the TV about a bomb blast outside Delhi High court. Over the next few hours as I watched more coverage of the event, I felt a crazy anger simmering within. I wanted to get a butter knife and slash some noses right away.

Just as I was about to finish my cheese sandwich and rush out with the sharp plastic knife, I realized I didn’t know who deserved my wrath more. There were just too many contenders.

Who was I truly mad at?

Of course, i was mad at the jihadi idiots for thinking that they will help their religion by killing and maiming innocent people. If religion inspires us to kill, then maybe it is time we did away with all religions before we end up destroying the planet.

All that these terrorists have achieved is desensitize us to tragedies. Number of casualties is now a mere statistic. Nobody feels sorry for the ones who died. The govt will announce a few lakhs compensation. Media will report the number in bold letters. The common man will just say ‘wow’ and move on. Purpose served? No.

Then there were the news channel crews, competing to be the first to break whatever news they could find. They were all over the place. Pushing mikes into the faces of people crying over the ones who died. Running behind ambulances with their cameras. Zooming into the wounds of the injured. Overall doing a fine job of running around like headless chicken and in general being insensitive pricks. Absolutely worthy of getting shoes flung at them.

And then there were our politicians, following their standard operating procedure.

Step 1 – Condemn the attack.
Step 2 – Issue stupid statements blaming the enemy of your choice, well before the investigation has started.
Step 3 – Retract stupid statement. Claim to be quoted out of context. Reiterate that the perpetrators will be brought to justice.
Step 4 – Rush to the hospital, to add to the commotion. Try to appear to help. Plenty of brownie points up for grabs.
Step 5 – Get Parliament adjourned, and return home to a nice cup of tea at the taxpayer’s expense.

And these are the same politicians whose testicles seem to climb up to their stomachs when it comes to punishing the two relics of our times – one who attacked the Parliament, and the other who killed dozens of hapless Mumbaiites in cold blood.

It was a close contest.

Other contenders were the police who, for all the threat perception, failed to safeguard an institution as important as the high court. There were the government agencies who have now taken 3 years passing the buck over installing CCTV cameras at the venue. There’s so many agencies that fail to do their job and the common man has to die for it.

And then, I shortly realized, there are us.

Yes, we the people. We crib about the system, bitch about corruption, rant about all the evils of the government, yet go about with our selfish lives. We says that our MPs are corrupt, but we try to cheat on taxes wherever possible. Corporate account departments are overflowing with fake petrol and travel reimbursement bills. At the traffic light, we shout at people who delay us by a second. We beat up someone who dares to scratch our bumper. We try our utmost to milk the system to our benefit.

We are the ones who keep the much maligned system thriving. The politicians came from within us. The media is catering to our own voyeuristic needs. How then can we blame anyone? How many noses will the poor plastic knife fix?

Maybe i’ll just wait for 2012.

Hrithik Ko Gussa Kyon Aaya

The Search for the Ideal Anti-Corruption Crusader

amreekandesi — Sat, 04 Jun 2011 05:40:56 +0000

The anti corruption movement is gaining pace. People are getting involved and doing all they can to get rid of corruption, such as watching news coverage on TV and writing energetic articles on blogs etc.

However, all does not seem well. We are not totally convinced yet. The cynicism just wont go away. And we cant seem to find a leader in whom we can lay all our trust. One who reassures us that corruption will indeed go away, and this movement wont end up like the climax of Jaane Bhi Do Yaaron.

So who do we trust with this task?

Politicians. Nah. They are hopeless. We’ve given up voting because it is invariably a choice between a corrupt politician who has already made his crores vs a corrupt politician who hasn’t got his chance yet. The ones who do vote mainly do so in exchange for liquor, grinders, and Shopper’s stop gift vouchers.

Politicians are useless, and will sell the country if that helps increase their swiss bank balance. They’ve probably already figured out a way to take all that money with them once they die.

Civil society leaders. Anna Hazare shook up the country. Lots of glamorous celebs joined his cause. Students bunked their lectures to go to Jantar Mantar and check out the scene there. Filmstars gave up busy shooting schedules to make an appearance on the dias. Arnab raged on TV. Brownie points were given out by the millions.

But people objected to an unelected person being given the power to be a class monitor to the government. They said being a Magsaysay award winner doesn’t make you any better than the rest. Being more famous doesn’t make you more accountable. What if we end up breeding monsters who end up the same way as the politicians?

Now Baba Ramdev is taking the fast route to fixing things. Again people are cynical. “He is eccentric. He has already made his crores. He flies private jets, yet talks of Swadeshi. He is a baba, and they’re all the same. He will NOT succeed.”

So what do we do? Where do we find a leader who is

1. Well educated?
2. Has a following of crores of Indians?
3. Is not clad in any shade of orange, which is obviously a horrible thing in modern India?
4. Has the right ideas about leading our people?

Hmm…tough one. Such people are rare, and come by once in a million years.

What to do? What to do?

*Scratches head*

Wait, we may have just the right person for the job.

1. He went to IIT, and to IIM. Two of our best even though not-so-world-class institutes.
2. The Indian youth loves him and learns much wonderful stuff from his books.
3. He is smart enough to write regular columns in the Times of India that everybody reads and gets inspired.
4. He has close to half a million followers on Twitter alone.
5. He is young, almost a baby in Indian politician years.
6. Most importantly, he has all the right ideas about fixing things.

Ladies and gentlemen, Chetan Bhagat may just be our last hope.

PM Replies to Anna Hazare’s Letter

amreekandesi — Thu, 07 Apr 2011 04:47:19 +0000

You all may have already read the anti-corruption crusader Anna Hazare’s letter to the Prime Minister. Hard hitting stuff. We managed to lay our hands on the reply the PMO prepared for him.

Dear Mr Hazare,

Apologies for not getting back to you earlier. But better late than never, like an Indian mother would tell her balding-28-year-old-teetotaler-unmarried boy.

So I was watching that handsome Bengali news guy on Times Now when they mentioned that you had sent me a letter. Letter? I immediately asked my staff to look for it in the office. Took the lazy buggers 45 minutes to find the damn thing. It was hiding under the leaky coffee mug that the missus had brought as a gift from that European country. Cant remember the name though. Wait, Krishna had something to do with it. Portugal.

While the circular coffee spot reminded me of a solar eclipse, i read the letter and was immediately reminded of our meeting. And a little urdu poetry.

Irshad boliye.

ye bataa de mujhe zindagii
pyaar kii raah ke hamasafar
kis tarah ban gaye ajanabii

What happened? Why are you doing this to me? I already have so much to worry about, why add this Lokpal, pal? I am a man of unimpeachable integrity, have faith in me.

Anyway, onto your letter.

I noticed your request to fast and pray for a corruption free India on the 5th, and had it promptly marked in the calendar. But the missus ended up cooking chicken, and all hell breaks loose if i refuse anything she makes. And she does cook up a nice murga. To add to the mess, the toilet was broken and the plumber was refusing to fix it; had to pay him an extra Mahatma Gandhi to oblige.

Anyway, i am supposed to be the intellectual, reticent, two-words-per-minute Prime Minister, so lets get to the point. Point by point, from your letter.

1. It is being alleged that I am being instigated by some people to sit on this fast. Dear Manmohan Singh ji, this is an insult to my sense of wisdom and intelligence.

Arre sirjee, kya baat kar di aapne? Of course, being misled by others is no insult to wisdom and/or intelligence. I do it ALL the time. People tell me what to do and i do it. It works out nicely most of the times; did you see how easily i got out of the 2G scam.

Let me share one secret with you. One word that will serve you well, always.

SCAPEGOAT.

2. It is being said that I have shown impatience. Dear Prime Minister, so far, every government has shown complete insensitivity and lack of political commitment to tackling corruption…

You are very impatient, sir. And obviously you don’t understand how democracy works. You see, YOU people go to the election booth and cast your votes. WE go to parliament and make laws. We don’t tolerate any outside interference, be it internal or external affairs. As for courage, sir, i will be 80 next year. This is about the most stress my heart can take.

Anyway, what’s with all this clamor for this independent anti-corruption system? I am the PM. I am the anti corruption system. Have you seen all the degrees i have?

3. It is being said that I have shown impatience when the government has “initiated” the process. I would urge you to tell me – exactly what processes are underway?

a. You say that your Group of Ministers are drafting the anti-corruption law. Many of the members of this Group of Ministers have such a shady past that if effective anticorruption systems had been in place, some of them would have been behind bars

Oh come on, thats just rude. I give you one word, Sharad Pawar. Ok, that’s two, but what more do you want?

The word shady means nothing, unless you are referring to The Real Slim Shady. Classic Eminem.

‘Cause I’m Slim Shady, yes I’m the real Shady
All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating
So won’t the real Slim Shady please stand up,
please stand up, please stand up?

I sing it in front of the mirror every time the opposition walks out of Parliament. Helps get my confidence back.

Unless you can prove it, you should not cast aspersions on my esteemed, unblemished group of homies.

As for Moily asking for a copy of your bill a day before the meeting because he lost the original, don’t mind him. He’s not getting any younger. I suspect he has forgotten to trip his moustache for the last 40 years. Besides, he is a liar. Err, lawyer.

You ask me if i have any faith in the processes i have setup.

Haha..clever one. Have you ever tried asking a fruit seller if his Apples are sweet? Has the answer ever been different from “Sir, this is the best stuff. Ever. I will eat bird-crap if you have any complaints”?

4. kindly create a credible platform for discussions . a joint committee with at least half members from civil society suggested by us.

I am afraid even with 500 odd MPs we can barely get any work done. Bring in a group of ordinary citizens, and the load on already bursting AIIMS will go up even more. There’s only as many head injuries they can support.

5. Tell me a single meeting when you called us and we did not come

Ok, i am sure there must be many. Let me check with my staff and get back to you. We at GoI are always open for discussion. We listen to everyone. (Wiretapping has got to be the BEST invention ever)

All said and done, here’s the deal. I am the Prime Minister of India, and a very busy man. Busy and intelligent, and well educated, and of unimpeachable integrity. If i say something, you must listen and understand. Over the past few years we have made tremendous progress. A few random scams involving mere billions of dollars should not be reason for worry.

Look at GSLV. Look at our increasing GDP. Look at the Crorepatis being made due to the manifold increase in property prices. Look at the incredible amount we are spending on procuring expensive toys for the defense forces. Look at Kapil Sibal. Look at the world cup. We are everywhere.

My saala was looking for a car driver, and the cheapest he found wanted Rs 10,000 per month. Ten thousand! That used to be the going rate for software engineers till some time back. Have you ever tried booking a room in the Trident in Gurgaon? Pricier than most New york hotels.

Darn it, we have arrived at the global stage, and you people keep harping on about tiny scams. Aberrations on the great stage called India.

Look at the bigger picture. No not, Lagaan.

Now you better get yourself a can of Tropicana orange juice before i send in Mamta to go on a counter strike. (Tropicana is the best. Try the pulpy one.)

Regards,
The Prime Minister

[This letter sneaked in by a little bird from the PMO. Cant remember his name, or face, or even the time when he dropped it in. Ah well, maybe i just imagined it]

The Quattrocchi Saga Winds Down

amreekandesi — Sat, 05 Mar 2011 08:47:52 +0000

A Delhi court has passed an order to allow the CBI to withdraw prosecution of Italian businessman Ottavio Quattrocchi. Quattrocchi was accused of receiving kickbacks of Rs 64 crores in connection with the purchase of Bofors howitzers back in the 80s.

Since then, the CBI has spent Rs 250 crore on the case. They are not going anywhere with the investigations, and it would make financial sense to not incur any further expense, given we have already spent four times the alleged kickback amount.

Readers may recall that the CBI had removed Quattrocchi from its wanted list in 2009, and removed the interpol notice against him. Read my earlier post on this subject.

This latest development is the final step in the saga.

Makes perfect sense. Drag out investigation over three decades before throwing up your hands in despair. Hopefully by then, most involved will already be dead. Rajiv Gandhi already is. As is Win Chaddha.

There can only be two conclusions out of an unsuccessful investigation drawn out over more than 20 years:

1. The CBI doesnt have a clue. Quite literally.
2. The powers-to-be did not want Quattrocchi to come to any harm.

As for the Indian people; well, we will continue to be led from one scam to another, living in the present, forgetting the past, and believing that the guilty will get appropriate punishment.

Gullible is the Indians’ middle name.

Freedom to Murder

amreekandesi — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 19:37:53 +0000

A bit unsure whether this should go in as the WTF news of the day, or the mind numbing news of the week.

A mob of disgruntled laborers set ablaze a 55-year-old steel factory deputy general manager at Titilagarh in Orissa’s Balangir on Thursday. [link]

Radheshyam Ray was going out for lunch when a group of labourers who had recently been suspended from the factory surrounded his car. They then set fire to the car and made sure he was unable to escape. He burnt to death.

Now, where does agitation end and murder begin? Have we become such a cold hearted society that we are willing to murder anyone who becomes a problem?

This case is not an isolated one. Every few days there are news reports of people getting murdered over petty issues, road rage related killings, people killing their family members, etc.

Whatever happened to Gandhi and all those theories about non violence? Or is he just lost in the millions of roads, parks and flyovers named after him?

ObaMake-It-Happen

amreekandesi — Sun, 07 Nov 2010 18:55:21 +0000

Obama may not promise to blow up Pakistan any day soon, or even to help India get into the UN Security Council, but here’s a few things that could make this trip worthwhile for us Indians.

1. Salaries in India are getting higher, and the attrition rate is a killer. Can we outsource some of our call center work to your country? It will work out nicely given that we wont even need to provide diction training to your guys.

2. Take Arundhati with you. She is smart, intelligent, and brilliant. Please give her citizenship of your awesome country; don’t bother with visas. That’s silly crap for lesser worthy people.

3. Also, we want Chetan B to get the Booker award. Maybe he will stop writing columns in the paper once he gets it.

4. You in America are also politicians. How do you manage? We try to swindle a few thousand crores (less than a billion dollars), and the media is on us like Tiger Woods chasing the girls. We want to know your secret.

Movies. Two things.

5. Firstly, we want to see Rakhi Sawant in a Hollywood movie. There are too many reasons to list out here, so just do it.

6. Secondly, we want Angelina Jolie to adopt a nice Indian kid to add to her collection.

However therein lies a dilemma. [ To use that line from the movie where your Indian named actress kills a lot of Japanese people. Or was that Chinese?]

We cant pick a child from any particular region, so she will need to adopt one kid per national language. Which makes it 22.

7. Confirm to us once and for all – are you a Muslim? We promise we will not tell anyone, but it will increase the faith we have in you, and we will buy more stuff. You know how it is when you buy more from the grocery store if you are able to connect with the shopkeeper (and get some discounts).

These are all we have for now. There is a joint parliamentary committee in place to come up with a complete list of our demands. They should be done in about 8 months, and we will send it to you by Overnight Fedex.

Please confirm your address.

PS: Dont forget that our PM is older than you. We hope you will be respectful in obeying people senior to you, and do the needful at the earliest.

CWG 2010 – The People’s Verdict

amreekandesi — Sun, 26 Sep 2010 06:56:18 +0000

The 2010 Delhi Commonwealth Games are a mess.

Bridges are collapsing all over the place. The Games Village is a stinky public potty as highlighted so aptly by BBC and co. We seem all set for a Dengue epidemic. The dogs may have had a party at the ‘village but nobody else wants to participate in these games.

Not even little Punjab. Canada.

Even Africa is complaining. Yes, the land of Somalian pirates, and Rwandan genocides is unhappy with us.

And Delhiites…they are miffed. There is widespread anger among the junta over the manner in which corrupt government officials have embarrassed the country in front of the world audience. The games that were supposed to bring glory have only resulted in ignominy.

A few people have already threatened self immolation if there’s any further disgrace.

Baba Ramdev is rumored to have quit Yoga till the time the games conclude in a huge success (following which he will float his political party that will win every political contest in sight.)

In Kashmir, stone pelting has picked up over the last few weeks. Little boys eagerly awaiting the games are now out on the streets protesting against the ridiculously shabby work being done by the government.

We decided to go out and see what irks Delhi. Here are our notes.

The first person we talked to was Mukul Sharma, a call center executive working in Gurgaon. He wasn’t available for a meeting, so we just talked on the phone as he was driving to work.

“You see this entire thing is so messed up. This government is super corrupt. They stole our money. They spend Rs 60,000 crores on these games, and all they have to show are leaking roofs in stadiums? I wish the entire thing gets f***ing washed out.”

There was a break for a minute. “Sorry, i had to skip a traffic signal. Damn things all over the place.

“Aren’t you afraid of being caught?”

Loud laughter. “Haha..good one. Getting caught just means a twenty rupee bribe.

Anyway, i was saying that all these people are so corrupt that they should be hanged.”

Another pause. “Gotta go. There’s a cop car after me, and talking on the phone while driving is not permitted. This one costs more. Fifty.”

We catch an auto driver napping nearby. “Ek minute” he says, and proceeds to spit the paan an inch from our feet. Relieved of the burden he smiles at us.

“This government is very corrupt. They stole our money. How is a poor auto driver supposed to feed his wife and 8 children? Petrol used to be Rs 20 a litre a few years back. Now it is 50. The price rise is killing us, and they build these big fancy stadiums.

But i am prepared. Got my meter fixed and printed out a special rate chart for the firangis. Aane do saalon ko.”

We wondered about asking whether he has ever paid a single rupee in income tax, but moved on.

A smartly dressed young man passing by beams at us enthused. We stop him to talk. Ajit works in an IT company in uptown Gurgaon.

“Why so happy?”

“Abe yaar nothing much. Small things.”

“Ah well, what do you think about the Commonwealth Games?”

“Big joke. This government is very corrupt. They stole our money. I wish the games are a big failure so that the entire world laughs at us. Then they will know.”

“But isnt that kinda counterproductive?”

“Who cares? Have you seen the media reports about the mess. Only if there is supreme shame will these corrupt understand. I hope the games are such a big disaster that nobody spits at India ever again.”

And he spits out the chewing gum, in what we hope was just a symbolic gesture, though seemed to be rather well practiced.

“hmm, makes sense. Before we part, mind sharing what it was you were so happy about before we spoiled your mood?

“Are yaar, nothing much. The fake bill i had submitted for my travel reimbursement got approved today. Rs 10,000 earned.”

Huh. Wow!

The head’s a little buzzed, but there’s still room for more. We meet Lakhan Pal, who runs a construction company often working for the government.

“I have done several major construction projects in Delhi. There was this contract for an underpass i won. Could’ve knocked it off in a year but i kept it going for five.” He beams at us.

Realizing we didn’t get the awesomeness of that statement he adds sympathetically “You see by having a project going for that long, firstly i managed the increase the cost ten times. The project kept the bread coming for many years for me.

[At this point we wondered from what European country he imported the bread he ate, for that sort of money.]

Dont tell anyone, but i billed Rs 20 crore for the project and spent just a quarter of that. A little cement. A little sand. Nobody checks. Nobody cares.”

“Of course. And what do you have to say about the CWG mess?”

“hmm…

This government is very corrupt. They stole our money. I hope the project dies an ugly and painful death so that these people learn their lesson.”

There then, the verdict is quite clear. Delhi is angry. The government needs to mend its ways immediately. We need them to display some more transparency, ownership, and responsibility.

No more beating the bush. No more cutting corners. No more bullshit.

We can’t risk losing Baba Ramdev.

Maoists Protest Killing of their Comrade

amreekandesi — Fri, 03 Sep 2010 18:51:50 +0000

The WTFness of our times just keeps increasing. Take this.

Maoist leader Kishenji on Friday called a 48-hour bandh from September 13 in eight states to press for a probe into the death of top Naxal leader Cherakuri Rajkumar alias Azad. [link]

To be fair, yesterday was Janmashtmi; the day of Kishanji. But isn’t he a, erm, terrorist? Anyone remember the cold blooded murder of 76 CRPF men in Dantewada?

It doesnt stop there.

“Azad’s post mortem report quoted in a national weekly said he was shot from a distance of 7 cm. So, there is no doubt that it was a cold blooded murdered by the Andhra Pradesh SIB,” he said.

Note to CRPF: Next time you kill a terrorist, make sure you shoot from a distance greater than 7 cm.

And dear terrorists, if our home minister keeps resigning over every single petty murder in the country, who will take care of the recent phenomenon of saffron terror? You? Retards!