AmreekanDesi

Watch this.

This is the work of trueroots, which is associated with Tata communications.

This from their blog.

Last month my mother came to visit me and insisted on putting a clothesline in my flashy Manhattan apartment. It only makes me smile. Some habits, quirks, whims — we just can’t do without. It’s probably in the air of the subcontinent. But they define us wherever far and wide we may go. [link]

We Indians are an awesome lot. (And i am not even being sarcastic.)

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They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. A Laddu weighing 151Kg should then be the perfect gift to impress Lord Ganesha.

It may have taken multiple men many days to prepare, but the rewards will hopefully be adequate compensation for the hard work!

The other day i was listening to the radio while returning from the office after the regular grind, and came across this very interesting exchange.

So this guy called up the RJ (Radio Jockey), and they were talking. Bhai saab was an MBA student from FMS (which by the way, is one of the top management schools in India).

RJ: So what are you planning to do after your MBA?
Bhai Saab: Bas yaar, ek achhi si ladki chahiye. A nice girl to marry.
RJ: Abe so you dont need a job. A wife is all you need?
Bhai Saab: Yaar job to mil hi jayega, but finding a nice girl is more important.
RJ: Ok. Well, good luck. So who do you want to dedicate this sing to?
Bhai Saab: That would be my girl friend. (Said very matter of factly)
RJ: WTF! If you have a girl friend, then why worrying so much about finding a wife?
Bhai Saab: Arre, she is just a girl friend. Shaadi ke liye to i need a nice girl.

Me: Gasp!

Maybe i am too old to understand this thinking, but nevertheless, WTF! Is this how our youth thinks these days?

The Indian nation grows older by another year today. Happy Independence day.

Let us all take a moment to reflect on what Independence means for us, and work on doing  our bit towards being responsible citizens of this great nation of ours.

For once let’s stop cribbing about what is lacking with the system, and focus on fulfilling our duties towards the country. Let’s try to be vigilant, and not take anything lying down. Let’s not throw that candy wrapper out of the car window. Let’s not try to run down fellow drivers at traffic intersections. Let’s help people in distress.

To use that famous quote – “Ask not what the country can do for you. Ask what you can do for your country”

Here’s a video i shot during the Incredible India event back in New York, a beautiful celebration of Indian culture.

Happy Birthday India!

Happy Birthday Amreekandesi!

So Delhi nearly drowned earlier this week. The reason – a few hours of relatively heavy rainfall.

Everybody has been going crazy due to the incredible heat. Farmers have been going crazy in the absence of rain. People are dying. Farms wear a barren look. Everybody is yearning for some respite.

When the respite finally arrives, what do we have?

Massive (in the true sense of the word) traffic jams all over the city. Flooded drains. Submerged underpasses. Missing electricity.

The Moolchand Underpass went Underwater

Water water everywhere
Not a chullu bhar to drown

I personally endured a 5 hour commute when it usually takes just one. My colleagues didn’t fare any better. From newspaper reports, nobody reached home on time that night.

The ordeal was to continue into the next day though. Another long commute to work. Some people reached their offices. Some gave up midway and went back home.

And they all stood patiently…waiting to get to work

Even though Delhiites aren’t quite known to be patient!

This from the biggest city of one of the self-proclaimed superpowers of the world. A nation aspiring to greatness. A PM who wouldn’t take anything less than a permanent seat in the UN security council.

The MCD officials were probably too busy inventing people on the payroll to worry about basic stuff such as cleaning up flood drains, or whatever else it takes to keep a modern city from getting drowned after a little downpour.

As usual, the game of passing-the-buck has begun, and nobody is going to be held accountable for the sad state of affairs in the capital of India. Life will go on.

Jai Ho, my dear land of ironies.

We just cant seem to have enough engineers and MBA’s, even when the economy is in the shitter and millions of engineers are struggling to find decent jobs, if any at all.

The All-India Council for Technical Education (AICTE) has received a total of 886 applications for starting engineering colleges and 1,084 applications for new management institutes [link]

There was a time when getting into engineering/management was prestigious. You had to slog to clear entrance exams and then do whatever it took to actually become an engineer. Going by the current trend, there is going to be a college on every street corner, and you could just walk in, pay a few lakh rupees, and be en route to riches unemployment.

To adapt from those wonderful lines from Coleridge’s Rime of the Ancient Mariner

College College everywhere, hardly one that doesn’t stink

We may open a thousand colleges, but these colleges are not being opened with the intent of creating good engineers or scientists. These are just shops out there to cash in on the buzz. Already Indian engineers are considered unemployable due to the disconnect between education and industry. This is the reason most technology firms have their own training programs where they teach desired skills to fresh graduates over a period of several months.

Till some time back, IT was the place to be. Salaries were touching unheard highs. Annual increments to the order of 30% were the norm rather than the exception. To put that in perspective, here in the US a 10% rise would be considered phenomenal. Now, people who haven’t already been let go are seeing their salaries go down 10-20% or more. Some are seeing a salary drop and losing their jobs.

Things are not going to get better anytime soon. The IT bubble seems to have burst, and only people who know what they are doing are going to be the ones standing amidst the ruins.

In this light, what will become of all these college shops and the people who graduate from them?

What will happen to the ideal Indian family model of two kids – one doctor and the other engineer, once engineering is not a lucrative option anymore?

Shudder.

Are you an Indian? If yes, take a minute and cheer for yourself. You may not realize it, but Life is pretty G.O.O.D. India is blossoming. Indian industry is growing. India is prospering. As they liked saying, India is Shining.

Need more reasons? Here, you cynical Indian, are some reasons to be proud of your country. Cheer up now. Yes, you too.

Democracy

India is the world’s largest democracy, and loves it. Even though we are supposed to have elections every few years, we try our best to make that happen more often. So much so, that we even had them twice over the course of a few months, just a few years back. We love our democracy. It keeps the blood running through our body.

Ekktaa KKappurr

Yes, the same Ekta Kapoor who gave us the blood curdlers such as Kahani Ghar Ghar Ki, and Kyonki Saas Bhi Kabhi Bahu Thi. You see, it was her clever little plan to unite the people by giving them something common to hate. Give her a hand guys; She took one for the team.

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For all the hoopla over Indian navy’s new role as savior of the needy and helpless, take this.

The Navy’s decision to destroy a pirate mother ship is now being questioned by a Thai national who says the ship sunk last Tuesday in the Gulf of Aden actually belonged to him. [link]

Fourteen sailors are still missing from a Thai trawler that was sunk last week by the Indian navy as a suspected pirate ship, the vessel’s owner said Tuesday.[link]

Apparently, the victim was not the mother of pirate ships as so prominently claimed and acclaimed in the media. It was just another poor ship being attacked by those mean SOBs. The pirates were on the ship, but it wasn’t theirs!
No wonder they fired at INS Tabar, which happily shot them down.

Our hearts go out to our poor sailors who must be tired of years of peace inaction. They get one shot at fame and some shooting, and the party comes to an end a couple days later.

Thank god for small mercies. They could have mistaken an oil tanker for a pirate ship.

We loved watching the movie ‘Jab Pyar kiya to Darna kya’. Everytime Salman addressed Arbaaz as ‘Bade Bhaiyya’ in his inimitable style, it was beautiful.

Talking of Bhaiyas in the current world, we all know about Raj Thackeray and his inspired brigade to cleanse the world of all evil.

Here’s the scoop nobody ever told you about.They may not publicly declare their love for each other, but here’s what happened this Rakhi. Raj loves Nitish.

Here’s proof.

Arre baba, err bhaiya, why go through all this drama? jab pyaar kiya to darna kya?

Related Reading: Raj’s cake

James Ellroy once said “Anybody who doesn’t know that politics is crime has got a few screws loose.”

The dichotomy between crime and politics has been often talked about. Once you are a big enough politician/criminal, the lines start diminishing. Nothing you do is wrong. You can kill ten thousand people and nothing will happen to you.

Heck, you can attack the parliament, and nothing can happen to you. Ask Afzal.

After intense and immense analysis, here’s relative career graphs for politicians vs criminals. Those of you contemplating either of these professions might notice that there is no distinction between the two beyond a certain point.

All roads lead to, well, power public service.

Slow and steady wins the race. Stick to it boys, and someday you might strike it really really big.

TV is getting boring. Who really cares about Ekkta KKappoorr and her shitshow? Reality TV is the new Soap Opera.

Here’s a list of shows that we would love to watch on our Idiotbox.

Return of the Desi

This show documents the returning to India of a Wall street couple fresh from a layoff. Their innumerable sacrifices are the selling point of the show. Their coming to terms with the poverty, the various stenches, lack of power, abundance of crime, lack of water, lack of manners, and the all-encompassing corruption would bring tears of introspective joy to every self respecting Indian’s eyes.

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