AmreekanDesi » WTF!

Freedom to Murder

amreekandesi — Fri, 04 Mar 2011 19:37:53 +0000

A bit unsure whether this should go in as the WTF news of the day, or the mind numbing news of the week.

A mob of disgruntled laborers set ablaze a 55-year-old steel factory deputy general manager at Titilagarh in Orissa’s Balangir on Thursday. [link]

Radheshyam Ray was going out for lunch when a group of labourers who had recently been suspended from the factory surrounded his car. They then set fire to the car and made sure he was unable to escape. He burnt to death.

Now, where does agitation end and murder begin? Have we become such a cold hearted society that we are willing to murder anyone who becomes a problem?

This case is not an isolated one. Every few days there are news reports of people getting murdered over petty issues, road rage related killings, people killing their family members, etc.

Whatever happened to Gandhi and all those theories about non violence? Or is he just lost in the millions of roads, parks and flyovers named after him?

Oh Boy!

amreekandesi — Mon, 20 Sep 2010 18:10:54 +0000

You can not make this crap up.

In a bizarre case, a woman accused the hospital staff of swapping her son after delivery with the daughter of another woman who was born at the same time. [link]

So this woman delivers a girl, and another one in the same hospital delivers a boy a few minutes later. Woman 1 says boy baby is hers, and was exchanged. Matter goes to police, and both babies get admitted in hospital. DNA tests are done. Woman 1 proven wrong. Babies deprived of mother’s affection for a week.

Prime example of an Ekta’d show

Can totally imagine Woman 1 saying “Oh well, i tried”.

Ah…the joys of a little boy to plough the fields, carry on the family name, and beat up his wife when he grows up, like a true mard.

How soon before this story gets Ekta’d, with a new regressive tele-series based on gender discrimination and child exploitation.

(PS: If Google can be a verb, and so can Facebook, why not Ekta’d? As the person who started the saas bahu revolution going on over televisions all over India, the honor is well deserved)

What’s In a Name?

amreekandesi — Sun, 05 Sep 2010 10:20:07 +0000

As illustrated by this village in Karnataka. All men are named Gyanappa, and all women are Gyanavva.

No alias, no surname, no pet names even. [link]

This has got to be awesome for the administration. Makes their life so very simple. NOT.

Doctors Rock!

amreekandesi — Wed, 04 Aug 2010 13:28:12 +0000

Actually, a lot of of them deserve to be hit with rocks.

Take this. The Uterus Snatchers of Andhra. [link]

Rural pockets across Andhra are being taken for a ride by greedy doctors removing women’s uteruses for any and every ailment. All because a surgical procedure would fetch them more money than a mere medicine prescription.

These victims of rampant medical malpractice and government apathy now make for a startling statistic of the National Family Health Survey – the number of young menopausal women is the highest in Andhra Pradesh,standing at a staggering 31.4 per cent.

So we have young women in worse physical shape than much older ones. These women cannot bear children, and end up spending all their savings on medicines due to the amazingness inflicted upon them.

And to think we spend our time worrying about Moon missions, UN security council memberships, and Cricket. Jai ho, India!

It sounds like a fair bargain to cut away these doctors’ jewels to repay for the women’s loss. Shall we?

Kick Starting Indian Hockey

amreekandesi — Mon, 19 Jul 2010 18:03:22 +0000

We all know that Indian hockey is in the crapper. We have gone from the high of Chak De India, to the low of the Phir Dil Do Hockey Ko debacle circa 2010 World cup.

But all is not completely unwell.

Brave young faces are appearing with a new found zeal for the game. An aggression never seen before in India.

Former National plyayer Sunil Ekka did his bit getting hockey back in the limelight, when he struck veteran umpire RS Suriya Prakash on the head with his hockey stick during the All-India MCC-Murugappa Gold Cup. [link]

He has been suspended for the rest of the tournament, and hopes that he will get the maximum punishment – a six month suspension, during which he will further hone his hockey skills.

Ekka was unavailable for comment, but must be very proud of his achievement. He hopes to become the face of Indian hockey, bringing with him a new found killer passion for the game. We hear he comes with a tag line of Karo ya Maro (Do or Die).

We are not convinced though. We still think they should bring back Shahrukh Khan as the coach of the Indian team. There’s no other way out.

The Dentist of Jaipur

amreekandesi — Sun, 18 Jul 2010 11:31:49 +0000

This is guaranteed to make you squirm. The (roadside) dentist of Jaipur.

A lesser dentist sitting in a fancy office will charge Rs 500 for a visit. This one will take hundred and instantly solve your problem.

And dont even worry about lack of training.

I’ve done a lot of technical work. I even repaired bicycles.

Suddenly reminded of Ogden Nash‘s immortal words.

Because some tortures are physical and some are mental,
But the one that is both is dental.

Coming next. The Orthopedicians of Delhi.

What Price Entertainment?

amreekandesi — Tue, 13 Jul 2010 16:49:56 +0000

Indian radio has come a long way since the times of Vividh Bharati. With the plethora of FM stations available today these are exciting times for Indian audiences, more so with RJs on various stations trying out all sorts of innovative stuff to keep the lights going.

As i may have mentioned earlier , my office commute consists of traveling across three Indian states. Everyday. Among other things, this gives me a lot of time to sample the fare.

One common theme doing the rounds these days is calling up random people and trying to make a fool out of them. Sometimes it is funny and sometimes plain rude. The audience seem to love these segments.

Came across this very interesting exchange the other day.

The RJ calls up this guy, whom we will call Hero no 1. As Hero no 1 takes the call, there are sounds of people crying on this side.

Loud wailing by a few men.

RJ: Ajit ji, so how much did Mr Mehta owe you?
Random person 1 (Crying): Well, this is not the time to do this, but he owed me Rs 20,000.

RJ: And Rajesh ji, how much did Mr Mehta owe you?
Random person 2: Now you are embarrassing me. Waise it was Rs 15,000.

All this happening in the background as Hero no 1 is listening in bewilderment. RJ now turns to Hero no 1.

RJ: Hero no 1, did you know Mr Mehta? He just passed away
Hero no 1: Of course. He was a dear friend. What happened to him? He owed me Rs 50,000.

[In case this got too complicated, Hero no 1 has no idea who the caller or Mr Mehta is, but senses the opportunity for a chance pe dance.]

RJ suddenly changes tone. Loud Jat accent, like a Delhi Police cop.

RJ: Abe saale, so you knew Mr Mehta. He was running a smuggling racket involving crores of drugs. So you are a partner in his business?

Click. Phone disconnects.

RJ calls up again. Tring tring.

RJ: Hello
Hero no 1: In a kid’s voice. Hello. Papa is not home.

RJ now can not control his laughter. Bursts out laughing.

RJ: Hero no 1, I am RJ bla bla bla. We were just making a bakra out of you. Your girl friend told us that you are the greediest SOB possible, and you proved it. Serves as a lesson for you.

Creative, huh?

Scary, anyone?

You could get a weird call one day and be made to eat crow in front of millions of listeners.

Do Radio Jockeys need to take it upon themselves to teach people a lesson? What if they get manipulated into mistreating perfectly sensible and honest people, who are just gullible enough to get trapped?

I remember another time when another RJ called up a random auntie, and pretended to be her daughter’s friend. She casually mentioned the daughter’s wedding, and little tidbits about the entire affair. Poor woman was shocked. You could hear her voice trembling and shaking, very nearly in tears. What if she had a heart failure in response to this very sudden and depressing news?

Or another instance where they called up a guy en route to his engagement. The RJ said that he was previously engaged to the bride-to-be, and that he had photographs to prove it. The groom started off disbelieving, but on hearing about the photographs he asked for them to be sent to him immediately. You could sense a wedding about to break. What sort of a mind frame would this person be when he arrives for the engagement, bakra or not?

The question is, how far can we go for fun?

The question is, how far can we go for fun? Should we play with such sensitive issues just for kicks? Should we try to act like a moral authority out to police the streets? Is Radio going to go the way of TV channels, who dont shy away from stooping to abysmal levels just to create glamorous news, however biased it may be? Should these people be liable for defamation lawsuits?

What do you guys think?

Eunuch Army

amreekandesi — Sun, 27 Jun 2010 12:44:09 +0000

Arunachal Pradesh home minister Tako Dabi has sent a proposal to the Union home ministry to setup a special army regimnt comprising of Eunuchs. [link]

This idea definitely takes the prize for being the out of the box idea of the year.

Apparently, “most eunuchs don’t have families and can be selfless… A military career will give them a respectable livelihood.”

In one shot, this solves so many problems.

We get a committed force to defend our borders, we have livelihood for the hijras, and us commoners are saved the harassment that soon follows any happy occasion in the family.

Besides, if the enemy is as self-righteous as Bheeshm Pitamah of Mahabharata, they will never fire at this regiment and we could just run them over. Any money extorted out of them will be the incentive.

Way to go India. How about an army of tantriks to kill the enemy in their sleep? Wont that be easier?

(Image credit: IndiaMike)

Delhi’s T3 Has It All Figured Out

amreekandesi — Sun, 06 Jun 2010 08:15:31 +0000

How do you ensure the success of the biggest airport terminal ever built in India?

By invoking the gods, going by Delhi International Airport Limited (DIAL)’s example.

Pujas and hawans were performed for five days at the ramp leading to the new terminal, which is scheduled to be inaugurated on July 3.

More than 300 priests from across the country (most of them from south India) were specially flown in to Delhi to perform the rituals. [link]

This is the same DIAL that had built the new 1D terminal, whose roofs had got blown away by some strong winds, and the terminal had ended up getting flooded.

(Can’t help wondering about the reason for the emphasis on South Indian priests. Are North Indian ones any less? How about some diversity?)

For the uninitiated, Terminal 3 is the state-of-the-art integrated terminal of Indira Gandhi International Airport (IGIA) set to be inaugurated in July, ahead of the upcoming Commonwealth Games in New Delhi.

T3 is is poised to be the world’s third-largest, after Dubai in the United Arab Emirates and Beijing in China, in terms of size, with a capacity to handle 33 mn passengers annually. It is being developed at a cost of $2.6 bn, and is (hopefully) going to be India’s answer to Singapore and Atlanta.

Once T3 starts operations before the 2010 Commonwealth Games in October, IGIA will become the world’s sixth-largest in terms of capacity. T3 would increase the capacity of IGIA to 60 million passengers annually, from 23 million after it starts commercial operation in July 2010.

For the amount of money being spent, and the prospective gains from doing this well, i sure hope they didn’t miss out on any God.

Hopefully Pawan Dev (God of Wind) will not play spoilsport tag-teaming with Varun Dev (God of Water). Hopefully, Surya Dev (Sun God) will blink when he comes around the airport to allow the air conditioning to work more efficiently. Hopefully they will all just get together to prop up the building in case of structural flaws.

Architecture, design, and planning can only do as much. For everything else, there’s myriad hawans to be performed, by not one, not two, but at least 300 priests chanting away in perfect unison.

Outsourcing the Womb

amreekandesi — Sun, 16 May 2010 07:46:13 +0000

For many childless couples all over the world, India is becoming the go-to place. We may have started off outsourcing software development, but now we are reaching new avenues.

This is outsourcing taken to a new level. We are now outsourcing little babies.

Cant have kids? No problemo. We can do that for you.

And Anand is apparently at the center of it all.

Welcome to Anand, the milk capital of India and the surrogacy capital of the world, where women rent out their wombs to childless couples from the US, UK, Australia, Canada, Japan, Israel, Philippines, Turkey and even Iceland. The fame of this small town has spread so far and wide that when Oprah Winfrey dedicated one of her shows to the business of renting wombs, she zeroed in on Anand despite the fact that surrogacy is legally offered in many countries. [link]

Anand has a 300-member community of surrogates, and offers IVF treatment with surrogacy for Rs 7 lakh — in the US, it costs a whopping Rs 60 lakh.

The surrogates get paid at least Rs 3 lakh (USD 7000), and get a monthly stipend in addition. The extra money helps, providing these underprivileged women with much needed financial independence/stability.

Business is so good, sometimes they get return customers.

After spending about $20,000 – more than many couples because it took the surrogate mother several cycles to conceive – Sodhi and her husband are now back home with their 4-month-old baby, Neel. They plan to return to Anand for a second child. [link]

It’s all about empowerment, apparently. Of course, everybody wins. The childless become parents. These women get the moolah. India gets another outsourcing title.

Exploitation of poor women? Abuse of a developing country’s aspirations? Not sure about that.

In other oursourcing news, Barclays bank plans to outsource the task of collecting dues from customers to call center agents in India, who will buzz customers in the UK ‘incessantly demanding payments’.

“Pay back your money, or you will see. Saale, dont mess with Barclays bank”
“Haha…look Ma, there’s a man on the phone with a funny accent trying to threaten us!”

(Image courtesy: WebMd)