Dial T for Twitter Addiction

November 13, 2011
By

The other day my mom asked me to explain Twitter to her.

As someone who spends my days feeding the smartest possible one-liners to my army of Twitter followers, yours truly is certainly more than qualified to introduce her to the magic.

So i brushed my shoulders, turned up the collar of (much to my dismay) my collarless tshirt, and with the air of a true social media expert, turned to her.

Mom: You spend your entire day on Twitter. I dont get it. What’s the fun?
Me: It’s beautiful. You follow people. People follow you. You get into discussions. Intellectual growth happens. Twitter brings so many people together to truly harness the power of social media.

Mom: But what do you get out of it?
Me: It’s all about social media. Everything is on Twitter. Everybody is on Twitter. All news channels follow Twitter. If you dont go social, you get left behind in this world.

Mom: Hmm. Sounds like a waste of time. Does it help your work at all?
Me: Oh no. There’s no link. I just post funny one liners, jokes etc. People love them, and then tell me how i am the funniest man on earth since Mohammad Bin Tughlaq. I am so cool, people retweet my tweets by the boatload. Everybody loves me.

Mom: But you spend so much time doing this. You wake up, and check Twitter. You stop at a traffic light, and the phone is in your hand. The other day your son wanted to play in the park, and you didnt have any time. Seems to me like an addiction.
Me: *laughs lightly* Oh hardly. That is just for fun. Utilizing spare time. Traffic lights can be so boring.

Mom: Do you even make any money from Twitter, given the time you devote to it?
Me: Err? Money? No! That’s not the point at all.

Mom: Do you know any of these people you follow?
Me: Umm, not yet, but i plan on setting up a tweetup to meet some of my Twitter friends.

Mom: I see. Makes a lot of sense. You avoid doing anything in your spare time so you can be buried in your computer writing jokes for which you don’t get paid, for people you’ve never actually met.
Me: But it is social media. It is all powerful. It is where the action is. It is wonderful. I have so many followers. People like me so much…

Mom: Are you in touch with any of your friends from college?
Me: No

Mom: Are you in touch with any of your friends from school?
Me: No

Mom: I hereby rest my case.
Me: Umm

[What is Twitter to you? Do you think you are addicted to it? Do you think it takes up too much of your time? Use the comments space to share your thoughts.]

Image credit: bitrebels.com

Tags: , , , , , ,

11 Responses to “ Dial T for Twitter Addiction ”

  1. Ayush Ahuja on November 13, 2011 at 12:56 am

    Twitter is a huge part of my life now , it’s the first thing I check after waking up(before brushing my teeth even) and it’s also the last thing I do before going to sleep. Funny part is not even one of my real life friends are here and that I think gives me more freedom to be myself. The day my real life friends find about twitter and my profile will be the day I will move on to some other platform

  2. B k chowla on November 13, 2011 at 9:31 am

    I confess,I am addicted and have decided not to treat myself for addiction.

  3. endofanera on November 13, 2011 at 9:36 am

    “Why would you want to that?” is the answer my mom gave, well i rarely post on twitter and visit it on Saturday’s for EPL discussions.

  4. Kavi on November 13, 2011 at 10:28 am

    I discovered my ‘addiction’ to twitter when an offline friend prompted me to reflect on my online life !

    Since then, I have tweeted when i have felt like it and havent really looked at the number of followers and have been pleasantly amused by the rants of people upon others unfollowing them !!

    Its a beautiful world ! And it is everyone’s choices that determine how we live our lives !! :)

    • amreekandesi on November 14, 2011 at 12:20 am

      Kavi - kudos to you for not getting into the follower count game. I guess that’s the trick. And self control is always the key to getting over this, and any other addiction.

  5. Bharat Haladi on November 14, 2011 at 1:31 am

    Twitter is strictly for the birds.

  6. Aman on November 14, 2011 at 11:16 pm

    I always think of potential tweets in the shower #WIN,But forgets to tweet them #FAIL..I use hashtags in FB #FACEPALM..I don’t even remember people’s name,only handles #EPICFAIL..

  7. ekplatepanipuri on November 15, 2011 at 7:39 pm

    Happens at times, I type a tweet on my device, doze off, get up early in the morning rubbing my eyes and then “Oh SHIT. I didn’t post it! :(” and then I post it.
    Addiction?

  8. Roshni on November 16, 2011 at 2:28 am

    haven’t got on the Twitter bandwagon. I did try it but didn’t get the hang of it, got bored and left. I joined FB only because all my school, college friends and a bunch of my relatives are in. SO all my FB friends are people I personally know… guess that puts me in the same league as your mom! :S

  9. Megha Sarin on November 26, 2011 at 10:59 pm

    I have got on the Twitter bandwagon. But I don’t go overboard like others and become a sociopath :P
    There needs to be balance. Twitter is the most powerful form of social media. You get to know everything happening around and even get some tips and knowledge if following right people. It is not only about following Celebs.

  10. Dhaval on December 12, 2011 at 1:33 pm

    Namaste Auntie, I think your son is waiting for this to happen -> http://gapingvoid.com/2011/12/05/my-last-blog-post/

    An addict myself, I try to check contamination level by going offline for 15 days every few months. if I start feeling restless its bad news, bored, is why I went to twitter in the first place! I have noticed that i now #Think140.

Leave a Reply

Facebook

Subscribe via Email

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog

Disclaimer

All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
%d bloggers like this: