Dummy’s Guide To Avoid Getting Molested
Alright, so we all know of the Guwahati incident. We outraged about and wrote about it and tweeted about it. But did we all derive the right lessons out of the incident and the shamelessness of it all?
Here, let me lay out some foolproof ways to avoid getting molested in modern, lawless India. Read, implement and save yourself the trouble once and forever.
4. Don’t be a woman. Again, statistics have shown that most incidences of sexual crime happen against women. So…
6. Don’t wear short clothes. Men take that as an invitation.
7. Don’t work. That’s the root cause of all evil.
8. Don’t take the train. If it is crowded, men will try to grope you. Even if it isn’t, they may just molest you and throw you off the train. Why take the risk?
9. Don’t travel by buses. Read above reason.
10. Never get admitted to a hospital. Or if you must, try not sleeping. They won’t even spare pregnant women.
Follow the above rules, and you’ll lead a happy life.
Or, you could just get some training in basics kicks and punches, land one where it hurts and/or get yourself a rampuri knife and cut the testicles off anyone who dares to act smart.
That should also work.