From The Indian Parliament, With Love
Now that our Members of Parliament have got into the business of sending signed petitions to foreign leaders asking for denial of visas to Indian politicians, this can only lead to good things. While Narendra Modi ji might never be able to get that photo taken next to the Statue of Liberty while eating a salted pretzel and sipping from an oversized glass of Pepsi, the initiative shown by our honorable MPs is a heartening development.
They could have been throwing mikes at each other, they could have been ranting away, not listening to the speaker’s calls of ‘shant ho jaiye’ and ‘baith jaiye’, they could have been checking Facebook while a debate on the newest populist bill was being discussed, but our elected representatives chose to use their energies getting colleagues to sign a group petition approaching the master of the world against the common enemy of the whole world. How noble is that?
I say, why stop here. Here’s some more letters they could write and throw their weight behind worthy causes.
1.) A letter to Ram Gopal Verma urging him to direct Shahrukh Khan and Sallu bhaiya in Karan Arjun 2. I mean, they’ve hugged and all. The world is waiting for them to break all Bollywood records while running into the arms of Rakhi ji saying ‘Ma tere Karan Arjun aa gaye’. In slow motion, of course.
2.) A letter to Poonam Pandey asking her to stop being a tease and just fulfill her long-lasting promise. Porn is free and our poor kids (and whoever runs the ToI website) will soon lose interest in shots of her pouting for the camera in a bra.
3.) A letter to Navjot Sidhu asking him if he would like to take VRS from Cricket commentary. We CAN NOT take him anymore. Please, this alone might get the UPA reelected next year.
4.) A letter to the Chinese army confirming whether the CCTVs they keep taking away are in fact made in China or not. The poor guys have to work so hard in such bitter cold to come and check the CCTVs in such hostile terrain. Why not just tell them once and for all?
5.) A letter to the British queen asking her to finally send back the Kohinoor diamond now that she is a great-grandmother. Time to remind her that we in India have the custom of giving out gifts at the birth of a child. This is the best time to get something out of her.
6.) A letter to Obama ji asking him to use his contacts at Apple to get them to reduce the price of the iPhone. It is toooo expensive at the moment.
7.) Oh, most important, a letter to our own prince to finally take the throne. Time to end the internship and make him the CEO. Also, if possible, ask him to get married to a nice, homely girl. We are getting jealous of those British people hogging all the attention with their royal baby. We also want one.
The possibilities are endless. Now that we have our MPs thinking proactively, there’s so much that they can achieve through these signature campaigns.
My head is dizzy. I need to sit down.