Open Letter to Advani ji

March 23, 2014
By

Dear Advani ji,

I don’t know if there is an easy way of saying this to someone so senior, so i’ll just say it upfront. Please let it go. It is not worth it, and you are just going to damage your legacy. Move on. Leave it. Chhodo. Chhade de. [See i even looked up the Sindhi version, just for you.]

You are 86 years old. You are two decades older than independent India. I am in my 30s, and you were already closing in on old age when i was born. So much tension and heartburn in this advanced age will not do you any good.

Whether it is a wave, tsunami or merely ripples in a bathtub, Narendra Modi’s name has revitalized your party’s chances in this election. Please don’t ruin it now. The nation wants a party that gives it stable governance, a party that knows what it is doing, a party where the elders are mentoring the young leaders and sharing their experience with them, not ranting and cribbing or indulging in petty politics.

Have you seen SRK’s Chak De India? Allow me to remind you of the scene towards the end where the coach takes aside the unruly but brilliant players and points out to them that if they want to play for themselves and against the team, the team will lose for sure. You sir, seem to be playing against the team, when you should be leading from the front, hockey stick in your hand, dodging the opposition, attacking the goalpost. Sir aap to apnon pe hi hockey stick chala rahe ho.

You used to be the Hulk of Indian politics, but today you are being called the Incredible Sulk on social media circuits. I hope you have heard of Twitter and Facebook. There are a lot of BJP supporters there, young people mostly, a lot of them born after you crossed retirement age. Show them that the party for which they get ready to issue death threats to ‘rival’ party supporters for the smallest affront has its house in order.

Was the Bhopal drama really necessary? You’ve been an MP from Gandhinagar for 21 years. Why would you want to switch the seat now, just because you know, Modi camp vs Chauhan camp? You are too old for camping now, sir. Too many mosquitoes.

Surely you realise that till last year, the BJP was at best standing on a cliff taking off its shoes, suicide note in hand, all set to jump into oblivion. There was infighting, lack of clarity, no vision except to oppose the government, you know what i am talking about. Then things changed, and you got a lift from an Adani private plane that held the party a rope to hang on tight. Well, the plane is flying towards Delhi and the party is hanging on. Let go of the rope and that’s it. The choice is yours.

modi-advani2

I realise you have had this ambition to become India’s Prime Minister. Koi baat nahi sir. Even Tendulkar might have wanted to play till he needed a new pair of knees, but he retired, didn’t he? And he was less than half your age.

Agreed that after spending so many years in opposition, your natural instinct has become to counter anything that the government does, but sir, that doesn’t mean that you will counter the Congress’ ‘youth’ chant with your old age. It doesn’t work that way.

Please be a little more constructive, and no, i don’t mean build a new temple. If you resign, then resign. If you don’t want to resign, then don’t. Temper tantrums are for MNS goons at Maharashtra toll plazas, not distinguished leaders like you. Aise hi for no reason, you will increase your blood pressure with all this stress. Serves no purpose.

But if you resign and keep coming back, that doesn’t makes you look good. If you are really so unhappy with how the party is being run, then quit and create your own party. Washing the dirty chaddis in public never does anyone any good. Like the good capitalists at Nike say, Just Do It.

We’ve known you as the person who has done rath yatras across the country; please dont become the person who will be remembered for his wrath yatras. 

Please be the sagely Bheeshma pitamah of the party. You can no longer realistically be Arjun. Let Modi ji play that role. Our nation needs both Bheeshma and Arjun, and both are equally important.

Bachchon se naaraaz nahi hote aise. Chalo ab smile.

Yours respectfully.

An Aam Aadmi. Oops, no not that one.

[Image courtesy: Indian Express]

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6 Responses to “ Open Letter to Advani ji ”

  1. GPL Queen on March 23, 2014 at 3:57 pm

    Good advice/suggestions to Ad vani ji, no doubt! However, the purpose of my comment here is to draw your attention to your use of the word ‘hockey’ (twice) in para 4. As you very well know, ‘hockey’ is a game(the National Game [now, shame] of India)and the equipment used to play the game is the ‘hockey stick’. I presume you meant usage of the hockey stick (in Ad vani ji’s hand)rather than the game itself.
    I do know it is the ‘normal’ colloquial tendency in some areas to use the said term. But in this piece I felt it was out of place, and would be a blot on an otherwise marvelous piece. Please feel free to correct me if I’m wrong.

    Regards,
    dp.

    • amreekandesi on March 23, 2014 at 4:01 pm

      Thank you for a valid point. Correction made :)

  2. GPL Queen on March 23, 2014 at 10:50 pm

    My pleasure, amreekandesiji! :)

  3. Rajeshwari on March 24, 2014 at 3:43 pm

    What a Brilliant article which is the need of the hour. Please do write a letter for Jaswantji also. You are so straight forward and keping the respect and dignity makes it more worthy.

  4. Ruminating Optimist on April 18, 2014 at 4:37 pm

    Perfect suggestions to Advani. Spot on!

  5. Open Letter to Modi ji on September 28, 2014 at 2:27 pm

    […] Open Letter to Advani ji An Open Letter to Priyanka Gandhi Another Open Letter to Arvind Kejriwal […]

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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