Elections 2014 – The Anti-Social Media

April 6, 2014
By

As an avid social media enthusiast with strong opinions and a healthy following, i am not happy with the state of affairs. Very disappointed. I have been called an AAPtard, a Moditard, and a Rahultard at various points of time. Every day some or the other person asks me how much money i am getting to speak against their beloved leader of choice.

This is just so insulting. I keep waiting and waiting, glancing at my phone every twenty minutes to check for new messages but that notification never comes.

‘Rs 20 lakhs have been credited into your account for criticising Narendra Modi.’

Not once. Come on boss. Is there any justice in the world? Rahul ji, kuchh karo yaar. I need a cheque now. Been working too hard and not getting anything in return.

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On a less serious note, i think this symbolises the level of debate these elections. These are perhaps the first election in times when social media is almost mainstream, and battles are being fought on Twitter and Facebook. Each side has acquired armies of supporters whose only job is to seek and destroy any hint of opposition.

For every mention of Godhra, ten Modi bhakts would pounce with a response that would mainly consist of ‘1984’, ‘Swiss accounts’, ‘Yo Rahul so stupid’, or ‘die you motherf*cker’. For every BJP supporter tweet gloating over how Modi is the  latest reincarnation of Lord Shiva, the rival snipers would bring up images of burning people from Gujarat or Thailand or wherever, as long as they are burning. When they get tired of posting links, there starts the name-calling. ‘Moditard’. ‘Rahultard’. The classier ones can just skip a level and go directly to the mother-sister level. Talking of class, this does stay consistent with the behavior of the primary contenders, who have been coming up with references like ‘Feku’, ‘Pappu’, ‘Maut ka saudagar’, and the like. They lead, and we get led.

What’s with the ‘tard’ terminology anyway? If someone believes in a different leader, he is retarded? At least be politically correct. Call them Modificably Challenged or Kejriwally Underdeveloped. Let’s not be so rude.

It’s all good, as long as it gets votes. Everything is fair in love, war, elections and selection of the Congress PM candidate. We are all nothing but shareholders in a massive vote bank, to be bought with bottles of IMFL. Unfortunately, i haven’t even got that yet.

The problem is that we people are absolute in our love or hatred. This is love at its best – unconditional, no questions asked. You just can’t even think of anything being said against your leader(s), whether true or not. Like an ideal wife straight out of an Ekta Kapoor soap, ready to take any battering to preserve the honor of her beloved, while he goes around with her younger sister. Kejriwal can do no wrong. Modi can do no wrong. Rahul can do nothing regardless. He is less of a problem.

Kejriwal-broom-AFP

You write something criticizing the Congress and BJP supporters would lap it up, praising it, sharing it, calling you a genius. You write something praising Rahul Gandhi and the same people would post ten thousand comments, calling you a paid ‘Congi’ (nothing to do with the people of Congo) agent who deserves to be burnt alive and thrown off a flying airplane, straight into crocodile infested waters, just in case.

On the positive side, this is good to get hits for your blogs. People have made writing careers just out of baiting their least-favorite political party. This is also good to get more Twitter followers or Facebook fans. Preferably, stay consistent to one side for best results. Me, i am an idiot. I criticise them all, based on statistics and news reports. Which also means that nobody is ever going to pay me anything, and neither am i going to have the remotest chance of getting a ministry, regardless of who wins the elections. Being an equal opportunity critic never helped anyone.

Why can’t we be objective? Even IITJEE is not objective. Why can’t we evaluate our leaders on the basis of their actions and results, rather than just swear permanent allegiance and shut our eyes to any issues their end? That would be the sign of a healthy democracy, rather than becoming so infatuated that we stop seeing reason. Let’s not pretend that we are characters out of a Salman Khan movie, because they CAN afford to not have any logic and still make money.

Of course the big danger threatening to rip apart the entire fiber of Indian society is the prospect of friendships getting damaged beyond repair, thanks to Kejriwal and Modi, and maybe Rahul Gandhi (for about two dozen people). Here’s a typical Kejriwal-Modi supporter interaction.

So what if he ran away in 49 days. So did BJP.’
‘F*ck off, you dickhead.’
‘He gave the people of Delhi free water.’
‘Yea right. It was just subsidy.’
‘BJP and Congress are both the same. At least he is trying to do something different.’
‘Of course. He gets money from Ford foundation.’
‘Whatever you say yaar, ab ki baar Modi sarkar.’

*Unfriend*

I am actually scared of losing some old-time friends, just because they think Kejriwal (or Modi) is god, and i think that the only god is Virat Kohli.

The sad part is that when a Kejriwal gets attacked by someone at a rally, i don’t feel anything anymore. No sympathy. No frustration. No despair at the intolerance. Because, like in cricket parlance, all three results are possible. Who knows if the BJP planted that person? Who knows if Kejriwal planted that person to blame the BJP? Who knows if Congress planted that person so that Kejriwal blames the BJP? Who knows if it was even a slap, or just a pat on the back? Who knows if Kejriwal is even a figment of our imagination?

Hopefully the guy got paid by someone. Otherwise he’d have got a beating for no benefit. Just like me. A shame.

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9 Responses to “ Elections 2014 – The Anti-Social Media ”

  1. Rohit on April 6, 2014 at 10:54 am

    “…i think that the only god is Virat Kohli.”

    BLASPHEMY!!! You Kohli-tards should be thrown off a flying airplane, indeed! :-D

  2. pritesh on April 6, 2014 at 11:38 am

    I can pay u heavy????

  3. Suksham on April 6, 2014 at 12:27 pm

    Politics has become more of a marketing thing with an eye on the votes and mud slinging has become the order of the day lets hope a good sense prevails.

  4. Shishir on April 6, 2014 at 12:34 pm

    True. The level of belief of the two sides is like India Pakistan match. Though both are actually two parties of India. The minds are made and debate is a show.

    In perfect world we would have all the information and would choose the same thing logically.

    In partial information situation and given that we are humans with emotions, differing value preferences and bias, we hardly are able to come to same conclusion.

    I agree though that for first time I have also I unfriended two people because of same reason. I am thinking of adding them back later :)

  5. Ms on April 7, 2014 at 8:41 am

    Remember, a govt OF the people, by the people, for the people. How conveniently we only remember the second and third statements, forgetting the first that is the most important. The govt is made up of the people who are in a majority – democracy. So, if one belongs to a party that doesn’t have the most votes, grin and bear it!

  6. Deepali on April 9, 2014 at 5:51 pm

    Dear amreekandesi.. I am just wondering how difficult it is to bring about a revolution in this country. Well, people still abuse and accuse Gandhiji (without even reading anything about him)..so in a way it is quite understandable. We take one step ahead and 10 steps behind..cant stop writing this time..would like to write a guest post this time.

  7. allwyn on April 12, 2014 at 11:05 am

    you’re being too cynical .. not all debate is bad. The above examples you gave are the filthy ones who do not know to debate in the first place. There is a door open for constructive debates with facts and figures without getting into words like tards and mothers n sisters.

  8. Ruminating Optimist on April 18, 2014 at 3:58 pm

    Three gems:

    1) Call them Modificably Challenged or Kejriwally Underdeveloped.

    2) Kejriwal can do no wrong. Modi can do no wrong. Rahul can do nothing regardless. He is less of a problem.

    3) Why can’t we be objective? Even IITJEE is not objective.

    Hats off AD :)

  9. DG on October 21, 2014 at 9:01 am

    “Who knows if the BJP planted that person? … a figment of our imagination?” It will all be revealed in the next season of House of Tards

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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