10 Rules for Driving on Indian Roads

June 16, 2011

Alright people, print this out and stick it on a wall in front of your desk. Print bumper stickers if you like. Forward this to all friends, foes and colleagues.

The following tips will save your life. They will make you the king of Indian roads. Nobody will ever overtake you again. Not in life. Not on the road. Here’s 10 rules for driving on Indian roads. Based on careful analysis derived from personal experiences, market research and interviews, primarily with myself.

Read, and remember. And rule.

1. In a road accident, the one with the cheaper vehicle wins by default. If a BMW hits a rickshaw, it must be the fault of the rich brat most likely on cocaine.

2.  It is perfectly acceptable to suddenly go across 3 lanes if you suddenly remember that you need to take a right turn. What else will you do?

3. Drunk driving is fine, as long as you have the connections.

4. If at an intersection you fail to move within a second of the light turning green, the person behind has the right to shoot you.

5. Backing down halfway from flyovers is acceptable.

6. If going wrong side saves you anything more than 200m worth of distance, then it is allowed. Rickshaws are exempted from this limit.

7. No rules apply to motorbikes. Really. Overtake from any side. Drive on the road. On the pavement. Over people. It is all ok.

8. Cyclists must pray to their respective gods before leaving the home. No other way out.

9. When in doubt, use the horn. [Which truly must be the best human invention since the mobile phone.]

10. Work like you don’t need money, Love like you’ve never been hurt, dance like no one’s watching, and drive like noone’s waiting back home.

Because driving should be fun. For the man who doesn’t have to try, err, too hard.

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14 Responses to “ 10 Rules for Driving on Indian Roads ”

  1. amlistening on June 17, 2011 at 9:26 am

    hmm…very true AD.
    May be i will distribute flyers too :)

    • amreekandesi on June 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

      Yay. Go for it! Thanks.

  2. Kiran on June 18, 2011 at 4:02 am

    Nice. But jokes aside, I almost had a heart attack when I first visited India. Man, you all are king of horns and driving from all directions, eh? :D

    • amreekandesi on June 19, 2011 at 5:16 pm

      Indeed, that’s how we desis roll.

  3. Shishir on July 9, 2011 at 11:45 am

    As an Indian biker, I couldn’t agree with you more. Also, public buses reserve the right to stop at any given point of time, of course, anywhere on the road.

  4. Sudeshna on July 9, 2011 at 11:50 am

    LOL…Awesome post!

  5. 10 More Tips to Survive India | AmreekanDesi on July 10, 2011 at 11:48 pm

    […] take a printout in large font and stick it on your wall, right next to the driving tips we saw earlier. One day you will thank us for the […]

  6. Rajinder on July 14, 2011 at 8:28 pm

    indeed, best presentation of facts on driving styles on roads and is an eye-opener.

    Also,the traffic police remains silent spectator of erratic driving on the roads by motors, motor- cycles ,buses. Perhaps various road accidents can be avioded if at least preventive measures are adopted.

  7. Driving in America | AmreekanDesi on September 20, 2011 at 10:17 am

    […] I’ve been doing a lot of driving in the America these past few days. Its been quite instructive to notice the differences in driving habits with how things work in India. […]

  8. tanu on January 21, 2013 at 4:10 pm


  9. […] from what you are used to. To assess if this is a good option for you, you can have a look at this article. Whatever you choose, observing the daily life is utterly […]

  10. Chandrasing Jadhav on August 2, 2013 at 2:16 pm

    Really good rules! I liked the rules #6 and #7.

    I would like to add few rules:
    — If a passenger vehicle is of capacity X persons,
    multiply by 2.5 when you are driving it in rural areas
    and add 2 if you are driving in city.
    — If you are driving a water tank truck, you are allowed to drain it on road while driving. No need to close tap fully.
    — It is not compulsory to use headlamps at night.

  11. Azizur on August 30, 2013 at 8:38 am

    in our area i drive and i even joke the traffic police… .they try 2 catch me daily but they can’t, unfortunately . . .. . ha ha ha

  12. priyanka on January 2, 2015 at 10:51 am

    really i am shocked when i am reached india people are the kings of horns

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All content on this site is the personal opinion of the writer. It is in no way related to their employer or their official policies. Most of what is written here is in a satirical tone. If it hurts your sensibilities, I sincerely apologize.
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